“I will. Of course I will, but not yet.” There was a long pause. “How would you explain that?” he asked. “How could it be in my house unless you were there, too?”
I had no answer. I could feel I was about to start crying out of sheer temper and was determined not to let him hear that.
“I’m sure Harry would like to know how willing you were,” he said in a soft voice. “You came to my house. You slept with me. I just want to tell him about the baby.”
“He knows about the baby!”
“He doesn’t know it’s my baby, though, does he? He doesn’t know that you’re carrying my baby. That he was cuckolded.” He laughed. “I have to tell you I am really looking forward to telling him that.”
I ended the call, shaking. When I went to Tom’s house that night to tell him about Harry and Ruby, I’d wanted revenge on Ruby. It had backfired on me.
CHAPTER 48
Emma
Annie called me a few days later, just after Harry left home to go to London. It had rained all night and the sky was still heavy with clouds, but she was as bouncy as ever.
“You sound really tired,” she said. “Once you’re through the first trimester you’ll feel a lot better.”
“I hope so. I’m exhausted.” I didn’t know whether it was my pregnancy that was tiring or the constant thinking and worrying about dates and times and who was more likely to be the father. I’d lie awake most nights now, while Harry slept beside me, chatting to women on online forums, checking figures and charting little graphs. I felt ashamed of myself that I was in this situation; it was something I might expect of a teenager, but I was in my late thirties. The results would take a few days to come through and I felt as though I couldn’t relax until then. At least if I knew, I could do something about it, I told myself, but all I could think about was that if it wasn’t Harry’s baby, our marriage was over.
“Why don’t I come to your house now and we can go through everything that needs to be done?” said Annie. “You could work from home today. There are plenty of things you can do there if you’re up to it.”
I dragged myself out of bed for a shower and dressed, relieved now that I knew I’d be staying home.
When she arrived we sat in the kitchen and worked through our diaries and planned which jobs I could do that day. I wanted to confide in her, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t betray Harry like that. Infidelity was one thing—we were both guilty of that now—but if he knew I’d told other people he might not be the father before I told him, it would be all over.
“And we’ll have to plan for your maternity leave. There’s so much to think about.” She didn’t know how right she was. If the baby was Tom’s, what would Harry do? Would he leave me? And what kind of involvement would Tom want?
“I’m so happy for you,” she said. “And for Harry, too.” She got up to go. “I’ve brought you the spare screen. It’ll be easier for you than using the one on the laptop. It’s in my car; I’ll just bring it in now that the rain’s gone off.” She went out of the front door and I heard her speaking to someone. I thought it would be the old lady who lived next door and I kept out of the way. I didn’t want her to come in and start to fuss around me.
Then I heard a male voice talking to Annie. I went to the door to see who it was, and my heart thumped hard in my chest as I saw it was Tom.
“Are you sure you don’t want any help?” he asked Annie, who was grappling with a large computer monitor.
“I’m fine, thanks. I’ve got it.” She saw me in the doorway. “Someone to see you, Emma.”