relieved that he didn’t want to contact Ruby that I accepted what he said at face value, never realizing for a minute he had another reason for going off-grid.
“Send Annie a message saying we need a holiday,” he said. “I’ll e-mail Dave”—Dave was his right-hand guy at work—“and tell him to take over everything. Let’s have a complete break from real life.”
So we sat in the car, each sending a message to our business partners, then switched our phones off and put them in the car’s glove compartment.
For those days we were away, he never left my side, and, rather than finding that irritating, as I would have done recently, I grew to love it. I felt like we were conjoined twins, that we depended on each other in some kind of essential way. At night in bed he’d lie behind me and stroke my back and we’d suggest baby names to each other for hours.
“Daniel?”
“That’s the name of a boy who used to bully me.”
“Vanessa?”
“Vanessa was my best friend in elementary school. Until she spat in my dinner.”
I was so tempted to say Ruby, but I held back, thinking how I’d feel if he said Tom. So we ignored certain names, locking them in a room where things from the past lay.
It was one of those times where you immerse yourself in another world, and at the end, it seems as though a year has passed. We came back from France closer to each other than ever, but no closer to resolving the problem that lay between us.
CHAPTER 32
Emma
Before we had left the house that night, I sent Jane a text to say that we were going away and wanted a bit of time together.
Good idea, she’d replied. Treat it as a fresh start.
I frowned. Had she guessed what I’d been up to? What do you mean? I replied.
I just meant, she sent a couple of minutes later, that this is a blessing for you—a chance at having a family with Harry. Make the most of every minute x
* * *
? ? ?
A few days after we returned from France, she came round for dinner, full of apologies for telling Harry I was pregnant. “I thought you’d already told him,” she said as she hugged me. “I didn’t think you’d tell me first!”
“Forget about it,” said Harry. I noticed he wasn’t looking at her and thought he must be furious with her. He’d waited years for news like that, and I knew he would have wanted to hear it from me first. His voice was cold and I wondered whether this would affect their friendship. “I’ll go and sort out dinner. It’ll be about twenty minutes.” He went off into the kitchen and closed the door. I heard music playing and knew he wouldn’t come out until dinner was ready.
“It’s all right,” I said to Jane, who was now red in the face. “He’s so happy. You really shouldn’t have told him, but it doesn’t matter, not in the long run.”
I thought of the alternative: I knew I wouldn’t have told Harry by now. I would have pretended the sickness was from food poisoning or a bug, and then he would have panicked and come to the doctor’s with me. I knew him; he always wanted to take care of me if I wasn’t well. It was a lovely trait, but not really the kind of thing that’s useful if you’re trying to hide the fact you might be pregnant by another man.
Jane looked at the closed kitchen door then leaned forward and whispered, “Is everything okay?”
“What do you mean?” I stared at her. Had she guessed the baby might not be Harry’s? Or did she know about Ruby? Was it known at work that they were a couple?
I felt mortified at the thought of people knowing, but then she said, “Oh, nothing. I just wondered how things were between you,” and I realized I needn’t worry about that. There’s no way she’d keep quiet if she knew he was having an affair. She was my sister. I trusted her.