wasn’t the word I’d use to describe myself right now. I was a mess.
I made some excuse and got off the phone. It was almost dark now and I sat by the window in the armchair and looked out at the road that ran along the front of the hotel. It had been raining earlier and drops still ran down the windows and the lights of the cars were blurred, though that could have been my tears. I brought my knees up to my chest, hugging them tight. So Emma was pregnant. That had been my dream for so many years and I’d almost accepted that it would never come true for me. Now she didn’t just have the man I wanted, she was having his child, too.
Harry hadn’t tried to contact me. He hadn’t even thought of me. He’d just discarded me like I was nothing to him.
My body was tight with panic. What had I done? I’d lost my past when I walked out on Tom. I’d lost my future, too; I had no job, no partner. No money. Tom earned a lot more than I did; we had separate bank accounts but a shared one for bills. We paid half each, which didn’t leave me much for savings. And now I was going to have no money coming in.
“Don’t worry about money,” Harry had said when we talked about living together. “I’ll look after you.”
“I don’t need looking after,” I’d said. “It’s just that I’ll be broke until the house is sold. After that I’ll be fine.”
He kissed me. “Ruby, don’t even give it a second thought.”
I really shouldn’t have listened to a word he said. I called him again. Straight to voice mail and yes, despite everything his voice still made me weak, though furious, too. I jabbed my phone to end the call before I said something I’d regret and just then my phone beeped. It was Tom. As I read the message I felt a moment of panic that he was psychic.
Just spoken to Henry at work who’s trying to sell his house. He said the market’s slow at the moment. He was told it could be months before it sells x
I could feel my blood pressure rise at the thought of not having a home or a job. I needed somewhere to live. I couldn’t stay in the hotel for much longer. When he booked it, Harry had paid for a week and I couldn’t afford to stay there much longer once that time was up.
“I’ll book it for the week and then see how it goes,” he’d said. “We’ll look out for an apartment straightaway. We can rent while we’re deciding where to buy.” He’d sent me some links to huge riverside apartments in Liverpool, others with views over the River Dee. “What do you think of these? They’re all available immediately.”
I thought of them now, those split-level warehouse lofts with their Scandinavian lighting and on-site gyms and twenty-four-hour concierges. What was all that about, tempting me with luxury living then dumping me without warning? That was another thought to add to the burning sense of injustice I’d felt over the last few days. Then my phone beeped again with another message from Tom.
We didn’t have the chance to talk about money before you left. I’ve transferred some to your savings account. Let me know if you need more x
I frowned. He knew my savings account was in name only. I’d had to borrow from him in the past, so he’d known I didn’t have a stash of money. Then my phone beeped with yet another message from him. He was messaging me more now than when we were together. It surprised me; I’d thought he’d ignore me.
I hope you’re OK x
I sat back on the armchair and held a cushion to my chest, watching the cars passing by. I started to think about Tom and where it had all gone wrong. It was hard to reconcile the man I’d met with the man I’d left, but now I saw the man I’d loved and married emerge again. But then those thoughts disappeared as I remembered the last time I’d seen Harry. Was he just stringing me