Click to Subscribe - By L. M. Augustine Page 0,22

we were thirteen and we decided to prank our English teacher?” she says softly, still looking out at the sun—at anything but my face. “So we snuck into his classroom while he was stuffing his face with chocolate cake or whatever in the teacher’s lounge, and we super-glued his markers together? We felt so cool and untouchable at the time, like we’d just reached the holy grail of pranks, and when he yelled at about it to the class the next day just because he wanted to yell, we were giggling like idiots in the back, thinking we were the baddest kids this school has ever seen.” She says it with such fondness, with that same twinkle in her eyes from last night, like she’s telling me a story of a magical world we’ll never quite reach.

I force a laugh. “That teacher was an asshole,” I say.

Cat smiles. “Oh god, he so was. Remember his oversized moustache? Man, did that dude need to shave…” She pauses, gathering herself. “Or do you remember our freshman year, when that jerk-y kid Brian beat you out as the JV basketball point guard, and so we spent the whole night plotting how we would commit the perfect murder so you could get on the team like you deserved, and we laughed and laughed until it was morning and time for school again?”

“Or,” she says even more quietly, and steps toward me, her body just inches from mine, “do you remember last year, when we visited France because your mom wanted us ‘to have some fun for once,’ and we sat on that bench in the middle of night, looking out at the city lights and hearing the sound of laughter bubbling all around us, and you touched my arm and joked to me how romantic this would be if we weren’t best friends? Do you remember that?”

“Yes,” I say. “Of course.” And I do remember. I remember all of it and more. I think about those memories, about Cat, every second of every day.

She nods and drops her chin so it’s hovering just inches from mine. “Those,” Cat says, “were the moments I realized I was in love with you. I mean, I thought it was just a weird screwed-up platonic love at first, because I’m not the kind of person who is pathetic enough to fall for her own best friend, I’m just not, but the more I thought about it, about us, about you, I knew I loved you. Like, for real. And call me crazy but for once in my life, I didn’t have any doubts.” She looks up. Meets my gaze. I can’t turn away. My heart rate keeps slowing and then speeding up again and I don’t even know what to do. My whole face feels sweaty, my body a bundle of anxiety. “I knew I loved you,” Cat continues. “I knew with 100% certainty that you were the one for me. You know how I haven’t been dating for the past year? It’s not because I was too busy, like I told you. It’s because I was already in love with one boy.” She steps closer. Her side touches mine, and I’m flooded with her warmth as well as a sharp, tingling sensation down my spine. “And, West Ryder,” she whispers, “that boy was you. But I knew I couldn’t just tell you. Or maybe I could, maybe I should have, but I was too confused and desperate to do anything but hide it and pretend it never happened, and that it wasn’t real, because maybe I just had a bad day and was going crazy.” She sighs. “I knew about your vlog,” Cat says quietly. “I’ve known about it forever. You’re my best friend, West, and you’re an idiot for thinking you could keep it from me.” She forces a smile.

I stand there, my mouth hanging open, still trying to process everything she’s saying. Finally, I manage to say, “How’d you find out? About the vlog, I mean.”

“Dude. You left your diary wide open, flipped to the page with all your vlog info. I saw it when I beat you home from school. You aren’t the best with keeping secrets, especially not from me. Hell, no one can keep secrets from me.”

I blush, and she continues, the distant smile on her lips already fading. “And so there I was with love I didn’t know what to do with and a vlog I wasn’t supposed to know about.