they? It’s not an important case to them. And they know if they do they’d lose good business of the same description in the future …’
‘I see.’
‘I know what’s in your mind: you think I’ll take a cut.’
‘Well, I suppose you would, wouldn’t you?’
‘How right you are, Mr Pew! Think of what’s involved! Professional conduct of a disgraceful nature, and so on and so forth. I’d be quite reasonable, though. I’d not kill the goose that lays the golden egg …’
Mr Zuss-Amor’s dentures gave me an amiable, impatient smile. He clearly had other interviews in his diary.
‘I’m not sure I can raise that much money all at once.’
‘Oh. We can forget it, then.’
‘And in any case, I think it’s better to fight them.’
The solicitor ran his hand up and down his waistcoat buttons. ‘It’s not exactly you who’s fighting them, but your friend,’ he said. ‘All the same, I think your decision’s perfectly right.’
‘Oh? Why do you?’
If you take it to court, you’ll almost certainly go down, as I’ve told you, though there’s always a chance, if slight. But if you give these gentlemen a little something, they’ll see to it you give them some more sooner or later. And probably sooner.’
‘I don’t get it, I’m sorry, Mr Zuss-Amor.’
‘I’ve no doubt your life is blameless, Mr Pew. All the same, if they decided to scrape around and look for some dirt, they’d possibly find you’d done something or other. We all have, at one time, I expect. Even the bench of bishops have a blot on their consciences somewhere, I shouldn’t be surprised.’
‘But how would they know it was me the money came from?’
‘Now, Mr Pew! Don’t underestimate the Law! They know you’re the friend of the accused, they’ve seen you in court this morning, they know – well, I dare say they know quite a lot of things.’ He took off his spectacles and wiped them with his fingers. ‘Or perhaps,’ he went on, ‘you think I’d tell them who paid up. Well, even if I did, I wouldn’t have to: they’d just know.’
‘So that’s ruled out, then.’
‘Very good. Right. So we go to court. The question arises: which court do we go to?’
‘Isn’t that automatic?’
‘To begin with, yes, it is. Everyone appears before a magistrate initially. Even if you murdered the prime minister, that’s where you’d first appear. But you needn’t be tried by the magistrate if you don’t want to be.’
‘What else can you do?’
‘You can elect to go before a judge and jury.’
‘And which is better?’
‘There are naturally pros and cons in either case.’
‘Well, tell me the pros and cons.’
Mr Zuss-Amor leant back with his hands behind his head. ‘My God!’ he said, ‘how often I’ve had to explain these simple facts! Don’t laymen know anything?’
‘Perhaps, Mr Zuss-Amor, it’s to your advantage that they don’t.’
‘Oh, quick! Below the belt, but excellent! Right. Here we go. You elect to go before the magistrate. Advantages. It’s over quicker, one way or the other. Less publicity, if that should happen to matter. The sentences aren’t so high as a judge can give, if you’re convicted.’
‘And the cons?’
‘No appeal – except to the bench of magistrates. From the judge, you can go up to the House of Lords, if all is well, but as you’ve not got the cash, the point’s academic. Trial by jury takes much longer: it may be weeks before your young friend’s face to face with my Lord and his merry men. Also, it’ll cost you more. There’ll be more for me, of course, and we’d have to get a barrister.’
‘If we went to the magistrate, we don’t need one?’
‘Ah – you’re catching on! Correct. Solicitors can appear before the beak. Though even in the magistrates’ court, a barrister can be a help if he waves his law books at the old boy without antagonising him unduly.’
‘What does a barrister cost?’
‘As you’d expect, it depends on who he is. If he’s any good, it won’t cost you less than fifty at the least – with refreshers, of course, that you’ll have to pay if the trial lasted more than a day.’
‘Is it likely to?’
‘I don’t suppose so, but we might come on late in the afternoon and get adjourned.’ He paused. ‘Well, have you made up your mind?’
‘I don’t know yet, Mr Zuss-Amor. You’d better tell me what you advise.’
‘Advise! If I say, “Go to the judge,” you’ll think it’s because I want more money.’