languages I know fluently. I said I had business to discuss with Mr Pew, and as for him, would he please cut out and hunt some crocodiles? But he answered me in his terrible style of English.
‘If you spiks to me insolting,’ he said, ‘be very careful or I soot you.’
‘What you shoot me with, man?’
This puzzled him one moment, but he said, ‘I will soot you with my amonisions.’
I laughed at the Bushman’s face.
‘This gentleman,’ said Mr Pew, ‘is a chieftain’s son, and as such must be treated with respect. Besides which he’s been most kind and obliging to me in all manner of ways.’
I saw Mr Pew was high – real gone.
‘Blow now, you chieftain’s son,’ I said to him. ‘Chief means no nothing now to any educated Africa man.’
‘Wash out for youself,’ the Bushman said to me, ‘or one day I take an’ soot you.’ But he got up, and slowly he slide away.
Mr Pew waved after him, then turned to me and said, ‘A delightful personality. To tell you the truth, I find this place quite gripping. An Elizabethan fragment come to life in our regimented world.’
No sense in that bit, so I said to him, ‘Don’t tell me this is your first visit here.’
‘My dear Fortune, yes, it is. Believe it or not, I’ve only been attached to the Welfare Office a few days.’
‘And already you give good advice to Africans! Well, well. How like an Englishman, if I may say.’
‘But it’s my job, my duty, Mr Fortune!’
‘This “Mr Fortune”! Can’t you call me Johnny like the whole world do?’
‘And I’m Montgomery.’ He held out his hand. ‘But not, please, ever “Monty”, under any circumstances.’
‘If you say so, Montgomery. And now you’ll be looking after colonial people’s welfare?’
‘In my small way, I hope so. I know nothing about you all, Johnny, but I like your people …’
‘We never trust a man who tells us that.’
‘Oh, no? No?’
‘We know in five seconds if you like us without you say so. Those who say they like us most usually do not.’
This Montgomery now grasped my arm in the most serious way. ‘Well, even if I mustn’t say I like you, I do,’ he told me.
‘Oh, that’s all right, then.’ And I smiled my best high-grade smile.
It was fortunate for us that Hamilton came over at this moment to warn me that some trouble was expected.
‘Johnny, you must come with me, there’s plain-clothes Law mustering up outside.’ And then in our language: ‘Who is this white?’
‘Not dangerous, I think. What’s cooking?’
‘GIs have stated that their overcoats have been robbed them from the cloakroom. Naturally, our boys like those nice long blue nylon weatherproofs, and do these Americans expect their entertainment here for nothing? Always causing argument and disturbances. I not surprised those Yankee whites will string them up on trees.’
‘Now, Hamilton.’
‘If they keep on with their foolish agitations, this nice place will soon be closed by public opinion. Come, now. Let we buy some VP wine before the closing, and me I’ll take you to an Indian restaurant called Fakir for rice and clean cooked chicken, not like that Jumble food, all grease.’
But just then some twenty Law appeared at the entrance steps, the band stopped, and a large cop went over to the mike and shouted: ‘All stay where you are for questioning. No one moves.’
‘Johnny,’ said Hamilton in our speech again. ‘You got weed on you? If yes, do slip it in that white man’s pocket while he doesn’t look.’
‘No, he’s my friend, I think. But I’ll take care. Don’t you worry, Hamilton, for me.’
‘If they trouble you, say you’re a GI, and ask they hand you over to the US patrol. They don’t know your face, so they’ll release you, I expect. Me, I have little business I must do, and I go hide.’
‘We scatter then, Hamilton, and all meet at this Fakir, if you give me the address. Come please, Montgomery. We make our way slowly to the exit.’
Little packs of weed were falling like leaves upon the floor. Some boys were edging over to the back ways out, but others were mostly standing still with faces innocent and proud. Six silly high GIs were pointing the finger at some persons they said had taken away their coats.
As we got near the stairs, we were stopped by three Law in plain clothes that made them look even more like Law.