The Circle (Hammer) - By Elfgren, Sara B.,Strandberg, Mats Page 0,166
for the fun,’ the principal says. Then she smiles warmly, surprising Vanessa. ‘Have a great summer, girls. You really deserve a break.’
60
ANNA-KARIN IS SITTING at the back looking out across the packed auditorium. Ida, Julia and Felicia are in the choir onstage. They’re beaming.
Jari isn’t here. He left with the other seniors a few days ago and most have stayed at home today. Anna-Karin still feels ashamed when she sees him, and she probably will for the rest of her life.
Erik, Kevin and Robin are sitting in a row in the middle. They’ve spread themselves out and talk loudly to each other, ignoring Ove Post’s attempts to silence them. Erik waves to Ida, tries to make her lose her concentration. Anna-Karin has heard rumours that they’ve started dating. She shudders when she thinks of what their children would be like.
She remembers Grandpa’s words: When those young thugs at school were picking on you, Mia always told me to stay out of it, that she’d been bullied, too, and she’d survived.
Her mother has almost never talked about her childhood. Had she been bullied at school, too? Is that why she is as she is? Had she been an Anna-Karin once upon a time? Had they tortured her until something broke that couldn’t be fixed?
Mia was drawn to those boys. The ones who didn’t have much to give.
Maybe she’d thought she didn’t deserve better.
Anna-Karin wonders how broken she is. If she’ll ever be free of her hatred. And if she doesn’t succeed, will she end up like her mother?
Because the hatred is still inside her. It bubbles up sometimes, threatening to overwhelm her. Then it’s hard to stop herself using magic. But she’s resisted. Not for the Council’s sake or the investigation, whatever’s happening with that. No, she’s resisted for the sake of the others.
She’s doing it for Vanessa, who’s passing a soda bottle between herself, Michelle and Evelina. Anna-Karin can smell the alcohol all the way over here.
She’s doing it for Linnéa, who’s sitting with the alternative crowd, leaning against the shoulder of a blue-haired girl and occasionally glancing at Vanessa.
She’s doing it for Minoo, who was sitting alone until Gustaf Åhlander sat next to her. Anna-Karin has tried to speak to her. She knows, of course, how it feels to be afraid of your powers, afraid of what you can do, but Minoo refuses to open up to her. She’s shut out the whole world.
She’s even doing it for Ida. Ida, who’s been in love with Gustaf since year four. Ida, who loves the horse Troja. Those are two subtle traces of a more human Ida, and that’s what Anna-Karin has to hold on to.
Just as siblings don’t choose each other, the Chosen Ones haven’t either. And, like siblings, they have to learn to live with each other.
Evelina and Michelle are yelling drunkenly in Vanessa’s ears, one on either side of her, like great big Evelina-and Michelle-shaped earphones.
‘Come with us!’ they bray.
‘But I don’t need to pee.’ Vanessa laughs.
‘Just come anyway! It’s us tonight!’ Evelina says, and swigs from the bottle of cider.
Vanessa laughs again. ‘I’ll wait here,’ she says, and shoves them towards the bushes further down Olsson’s Hill.
She straddles Wille. Mehmet, Lucky, Jonte and a few others are there, too. Music is playing from a portable loudspeaker. She kisses Wille and he kisses her back, and all she needs to know about them is in that kiss. Everything’s going to work out.
‘Check out the old hag,’ Lucky says.
Vanessa reluctantly pulls away from Wille’s lips and looks up.
Mona Moonbeam is standing on the path smoking a cigarette. Today she’s wearing a brown suede jacket with tassels. Her feet are stuffed into a pair of boots. They’ve even got spurs on them.
And Mona Moonbeam is looking straight at Vanessa. A hint of a smile playing on her lips. It feels like a challenge. Vanessa stands up on unsteady heels and adjusts the bow at her neckline.
‘What are you doing?’ Wille says.
She giggles when her head spins.
‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ she says. She walks up to Mona and stops a little too close to her. Mona takes a step back. ‘Can I have a cigarette?’ Vanessa asks.
Mona lights one for her and hands it over. They look at each other as they both take a drag. Mona’s cigarettes are strong. They taste like old socks.
‘Did you want something?’ Vanessa asks.
She hears Evelina and Michelle burst into a fit of laughter in the bushes.