The Circle (Hammer) - By Elfgren, Sara B.,Strandberg, Mats Page 0,108

talking about her as if she wasn’t there?

Anna-Karin staggers along the edge of the ping-pong table to Jari. She’s using all her power to keep her hold on him. The other people in the room probably don’t like her. But who cares? Jari is the only one who matters.

‘Who do you love?’ Anna-Karin asks, looking at him.

‘You, of course,’ Jari answers, without blinking.

Anna-Karin takes a few steps towards him, trips and falls into his arms. Her forehead smacks against his eyebrows, but she barely feels it. She throws her arms around his neck and opens her mouth.

At first he kisses her gently. She tries to lean against him to keep her balance while she thinks about how many words rhyme with what they’re doing – nuzzling, guzzling … puzzling? Rustling? And then she stops thinking. The only things that exist are their mouths. Her tongue in his mouth, his tongue in hers. She licks his lower lip and he moans. Their teeth knock together a few times. Anna-Karin becomes increasingly bold. She sucks his tongue – she can hardly believe she has the courage to do it. She lets her hands roam over his shirt, then slips them underneath it. He’s thin. She feels the hard squares of his stomach. His skin is warm. The soft fuzz below his belly-button. Her fingers fondle his jeans. He groans.

‘Jesus Christ!’ a girl cries out. ‘Can’t you go and fuck somewhere else!’

Anna-Karin and Jari open their eyes and look around, bleary-eyed. Without taking his eyes or hands off her Jari says, ‘I don’t know what this chick does to me.’

Anna-Karin licks her lips in the way she’s seen girls do in the porno films she’s watched in secret. She realises she’s licking off Jari’s saliva –it’s all over her mouth –but for some reason the idea doesn’t disgust her. In fact, it turns her on.

Anna-Karin leans towards Jaris’s ear and whispers: ‘Let’s find somewhere we can do it. I want to do it with you right now.’

Jari nods and gives her a feather-light kiss on the lips. It sends electric shockwaves surging through her. She wants more. Now.

They return to the throbbing heart of the party. Seeing all these people again is a shock. Anna-Karin tries to get them to move out of the way, tries to focus on their bodies, but she can barely stand.

She lets Jari go first, beat a path for them.

‘Upstairs?’ he calls, over his shoulder.

Anna-Karin nods, but then she sees Vanessa and Linnéa. They’re coming towards her, looking pissed off. What a joke. She lets go of Jari’s hand. ‘You go and see if any rooms are free. I’ll follow you in a minute.’ She crosses her arms and waits for them. This time she’s not going to run.

The water is gushing from the bath tap. Minoo can only watch as the water level rises. The steam has fogged the mirror and is making her pyjamas stick to her.

Minoo is somewhere inside herself, trying to get out. She’s a prisoner inside her body, locked behind her face. Behind her she hears the door latch turning, then locking with a click. She tries to scream, but the sound never reaches her vocal cords.

Every detail in the bathroom is crystal clear. She can see every thread in the fluffy bathroom carpet she’s standing on. Every drop of water gushing from the tap. The dark grey seam between the white tiles.

Leave me alone! she screams inside her head. Let go of me!

I can’t.

The most frightening thing is that the voice is so warm and friendly, so pleasant.

The bath tap turns off. She looks at the water, at the little specks of dust floating on the surface. A few last drops dribble from the tap.

There’s a knock at the door.

‘Minoo?’ her mother says. Her voice is heavy with sleep.

Minoo can see her in her mind’s eye, standing on the other side of the door, less than a metre away, wrapped in her washed-out dark red bathrobe.

Mum! Minoo thinks. Mum, help me!

‘I woke up and couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d take a bath. Sorry if I woke you,’ Minoo hears herself say.

‘Okay. Just be careful you don’t fall asleep in the water,’ her mother says, and leaves her.

Minoo takes a few steps forwards. The heat rises towards her face.

It’s almost over. You don’t want to stay here. You have no idea what awaits you in this world. It’s only going to get worse. Much, much worse. And all for nothing. There’s no