Christmasland - Anne-Marie Meyer Page 0,42

I was just a glorified maid for a bed and breakfast run by my mom. There was no dignity in that. I’d wanted to have my feet under me the next time I saw Scarlet. But I felt as if I were drowning, and I was far from having any grasp on my life. And Scarlet knew it. I could see it in her gaze as she stared at me with pity.

I pulled into the back parking lot at the inn and turned off the engine. I sat there with my hand on my lap, staring forward. Porter didn’t seem to notice my duress as he climbed out of the car. I thought I heard Bea whisper something to Emilia, and a moment later, they both climbed out of the car.

I wanted to stop Bea. I wanted her here with me. She helped me feel calm and collected, and I needed that now more than ever. But if she wanted to leave, I couldn’t blame her. After all, I came with a lot of baggage, and I didn’t want to force any of that on her.

I sighed as I gripped the steering wheel and rested my forehead on my hands. I was being a baby, I knew that, but I hadn’t been prepared. The last thing I’d expected was for Scarlet to actually fly to Vermont to see me. Every time I mentioned Christmasland in the past, she just wrinkled her nose and changed the subject. The only reason she’d actually come here was because she wanted something bad. And I feared that that something was me.

The passenger door opened. I tipped my head to see Bea plopping down on the seat next to me. Her eyebrows were knit together. She turned so that she was facing me.

I could feel her stare, so I sighed and straightened. “What’s up?” I asked and then cringed. I was not the kind of person who said, what’s up. She was definitely going to be able to tell that something was wrong.

Bea narrowed her eyes. “Who is Scarlet?”

I fiddled with the steering wheel. I didn’t want to relive my past—especially not with a girl that I was beginning to like as much as Bea. I wanted to be this strong, resilient person for her. But instead, I was weak and folding in on myself after a mere conversation with my ex.

Knowing that it was best to speak, I took in a deep breath. “Scarlet was my boss…” I closed my eyes for a second. “And my girlfriend.” The last statement came out a whisper.

When Bea didn’t respond, I glanced over to see her studying me. She didn’t look disappointed or upset. If anything, she looked more resolute than ever. And that reaction confused me.

“So why is she here?”

I shrugged.

“You really don’t know?” Bea didn’t sound convinced. In fact, when she asked the question, it didn’t seem as if she actually needed the answer. She sounded as if she already knew why Scarlet was here—just like I did.

“She wants to get back together with me.”

Bea nodded and shot a finger gun at me. “Bingo.” Then she grew serious. “Is that something you want as well?”

“To get back together with her?”

Bea’s cheeks hinted pink, and for a moment, I wondered what that was about. Then I pushed that thought from my mind. It was probably nothing.

I shook my head. The truth was, no, I didn’t want to have anything to do with Scarlet. In fact, if I never saw her again, it would be too soon. “No, I don’t,” I said softly.

A soft smile played on Bea’s lips as she leaned in. “Then what should we do about her?”

She had a playful look in her eyes, and I wanted to be able to understand what she meant, but I was struggling. What could we do about it?

She reached out and patted my arm. “We already told her that we were dating, so let’s really lean into it. Show her that we are happy and having the time of our lives here. She’ll be jealous and want to leave.” Bea raised her hand. “I swear.”

I didn’t allow myself to think through the logistics of what she was proposing. All I could focus on was the last bit. I would like to see Scarlet jealous and leaving. It would feel vindicating after I’d walked in on her with another man.

“You would do that for me?” I asked. The more time I spent around Bea, the harder it was