Christmas Tales - Brandon Witt Page 0,7
* *
“You sure you don’t want to come in? We’ll have breakfast ready within the hour.”
I glanced over Logan’s shoulder at his brother’s charming log cabin.
Though what little sleep I’d gotten had been spent wrapped in Logan’s massive arms, I’d woken in a state of melancholy.
I’d realized that there’d been a bit of Christmas Eve magic intermingled in the snowfall last night. It was the only explanation of how a ten and a five could add up to the explosive equation we’d solved. And while there wasn’t a minute I would change, it hurt a bit to think it was a one-time deal.
Sure, Logan was offering to have me spend Christmas morning with his family. That would be easy to read into. A lovely fantasy to allow myself to get lost in for another hour or so. However, it was obvious Logan was simply being nice. He’d demonstrated that quality in spades that morning as he helped pack up the tent and assisted me in walking the remaining distance to my Jeep, even though my ankle wasn’t hurt nearly as badly as it had seemed the few hours before.
If I let the fantasy continue, it would only hurt and wipe away what magic there had been for a little while.
“No, I need to get back to my place. I’d be behind in the remaining preparations for the party tonight if I hung around.”
I swear he looked disappointed.
“Well, I think that was my favorite Christmas Eve of all time, Paxton. Thank you.” Logan opened the passenger door and slipped out of the Jeep, then turned back to look at me once more. “I can only imagine the Horny Elf gifts that will show up tonight.”
My heart ached a little as he shut the door and moved to step away.
A flash of what would happen if Logan simply walked into his brother’s house and I drove away to check off all the lists I had waiting tore through my mind.
Nothing. Nothing would happen.
But what if…?
What if there was a chance.
Sure, more than likely, nothing would still happen.
But what if…?
I rolled down the passenger window, leaning across the middle console. “Hey, Logan.”
He turned back, a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah?”
I rifled through the drop drawer, pulled out a rectangular piece of cardstock, and extended it to him. “Here. This is my business card. It has my address on it. You’re more than welcome to see what Horny Elf gifts show up in person if you like.”
Logan took it, glancing at the card. He started to answer, but I cut him off, not wanting to hear the reasons he might use to decline.
“No pressure. Just if you get a little stir crazy and need to get out for a bit. It’s not like you can go play on the snowmobile.” I started to roll up the window, suddenly embarrassed and regretting my display of neediness. I put the Jeep in gear and began to drive away before the window finished closing. “Either way, have a Merry Christmas!”
Logan called out something, probably wishing me a Merry Christmas in return, but I kept going.
* * *
For the first time in my life, I found myself wishing that I’d not checked off quite as much from the to-do lists the day before. I’d left myself a maximum of two hours of work in order to be ready by five.
The night before kept replaying on a continuous loop in my mind. The beauty of Logan’s naked body, ridiculously perfect. The rugged masculinity that had captivated me so completely the night before now taunted me. If only it had been Logan’s looks that were perfect, if it only had ended there. But he was kindergarten teacher, kind, sarcastic, affectionate. Too good to be real. Like it had all been a giant joke. A once in a lifetime experience that I could never attain again.
It was a mix of pleasurable fantasy and annoying ache. I hadn’t felt this level of insecurity since high school. I was disgusted with myself. Which only made it worse.
I ended up repeating many of the jobs on the lists that I’d done the day before. I scrubbed the grout between the shower tiles with a toothbrush, which was even more type A than normal. Still Logan refused to be driven from my mind.
Pathetically, I kept checking my cell. My business card had my number on it, after all.
* * *
I tell my friends to come at five, but I plan to have Christmas dinner