then, as we’re all walking out at the end of the day, Suze pulls me back, saying in fake tones, “Oh, Bex, there was something I just wanted to mention.”
She waits until Irene is well out of earshot, then clears her throat and stares at me as though she doesn’t know where to begin.
“What?” I say, puzzled.
“OK,” says Suze in a rush. “Here’s what happened. I googled Craig to see what kind of guy he is.”
“Suze.” I glare at her. “Are you still obsessing about that?”
“I know, I know.” Suze looks abashed. “It’s none of my business. But, anyway, I found this interview online, and…Well. I think you should see it.” She proffers her phone and I stare at an incomprehensible stream of text, accompanied by a photo of Craig.
“It’s in…” I make a face. “What’s that language?”
“Oh, sorry, that’s the original,” says Suze without blinking. “It’s Latvian. You have to put it through Google Translate.”
“Which I assume you’ve done already,” I say pointedly. “Because you’re an obsessive stalker.”
“Just look at this,” says Suze, holding out an English version. “I’ve highlighted bits.”
As I take the phone, I suddenly wonder if he mentioned me in the interview. Oh my God! What if he says all his inspiration is down to his first love, Becky Bloomwood, and he should never have let me go? What if I’m famous in Latvia?
But as I peer at the screen, I can’t see the name “Becky” anywhere. Instead, a different word jumps out at me: orgies.
“Orgies,” says Suze, pointing at it as though I can’t read, and I roll my eyes at her.
“What do you mean? Suze, what is this? Does he mention me?” I can’t help adding.
“No,” says Suze. “But he mentions plenty of other things. Read on.”
Puffing out in exasperation, I look at the text again, my eyes landing on one highlighted phrase after another.
“…don’t believe in monogamy,” says Curton…regular member of the sex-party scene in Moscow…met his current girlfriend at a notorious club…“experimental sex is the only way”…“Since when was one-on-one enough? Never,” he laughs….
I lift my head and meet Suze’s gaze, my mind spinning a bit.
“OK, so he leads a wild life,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. “What are you saying?”
“Maybe he wants a wild life with you and Luke.” Suze waggles her eyebrows meaningfully at me. “With you and Luke, Bex.”
“What—” I break off as I realize what she’s driving at. “No! Suze, you’re mad! Where on earth did you get that idea?”
“Let’s look at the facts.” Suze starts striding around as if she’s a barrister making a case in the Old Bailey. “You’re sitting there last night, wondering what Craig’s girlfriend and he have in common. I’ve seen Craig flirting with you, and he’s pretty hot. Now they’re both all over Luke. The truth is…” She pauses for effect. “They’re after both of you.”
“No, they’re not,” I scoff, but Suze ignores me.
“I put it to you that the missing factor linking Craig and his girlfriend is nothing more than sex. Multiplayer sex,” she adds with a flourish.
“Multiplayer sex?” I echo incredulously. “Is that what it’s called?”
“Dunno,” admits Suze. “But you know what I mean. I bet they met in a club and that’s what they’re into. And now they want to do it with you and Luke. Swinging. Multiplayer. Whatever it is.”
“Rubbish,” I say vehemently.
“What else is the hot tub for?” she retorts, as though slapping down a trump card.
“The hot tub?” I stare at her.
“Yes! The hot tub! It’s a sex-party tub! I don’t know what Tarkie’s going to say,” she adds fretfully, transforming into landlady mode. “It’s visible from the road. We’ll have complaints!”
Her face is so outraged, I can’t help giggling.
“OK, Suze,” I say in soothing tones. “Well, if Craig invites us to a sex party, I’ll let you know, and you can call the police.”
“You think it’s funny?” says Suze. “You wait till you go round there and Craig says, ‘Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable,’ and Nadine appears and she’s already in a sexy dressing gown and she goes, ‘Wow, Becky, you look so hot,’ and she starts slipping it off your shoulders, and…Anyway.” Suze stops dead, as though that’s as far as she can get with this particular fantasy.
“You’re sick!” I clutch my stomach. “Stop it!”
“I’m prescient,” says Suze, unabashed. “I’ve seen the sexual tension between you and Craig. They’re going to ask you and Luke round to the hot tub for multiplayer sex.”