staring ahead with a furrowed brow when Luke pulls a chair up beside me.
“All OK?” he says.
“Fine!” I say automatically, but I’ve suddenly remembered pigs in blankets and scribble it down in my book. Then I write vegan pigs in blankets? Is that a thing? Without quite meaning to, I heave a great sigh—then look up to see Luke watching me.
“Becky,” he says in a low voice. “Don’t fret. None of this really matters. If we don’t manage to get hold of pigs in blankets, Christmas won’t collapse.”
“I know.” I give him a grateful smile. “Still, you know. I want everyone to be happy….”
“They will be,” he says firmly. “Minnie, poppet, can I borrow your book for a moment?”
He takes Minnie’s Grinch book and flips to the page where all the Whos are holding hands and singing, not caring that the Grinch has nicked all their stuff. I love that page.
“This is Christmas,” he says, pointing at the happy line of Whos. “Remember? Friends and family gathered together, celebrating. Not presents, not piñatas, people.”
“I know, but—”
“Whatever the Grinch can steal, that’s not Christmas,” asserts Luke.
I turn his words over in my head. Whatever the Grinch can steal, that’s not Christmas. I love that. I’ll just have to try to keep it in mind. I gaze at the book for a moment longer—then impulsively give Luke a kiss.
“You’re right,” I say. “Thank you.”
I really do love my husband. Even with his mustache.
MESSAGES
Janice
Becky, here’s the recipe for brussels sprouts with chestnuts. They’re delicious! Janice xxx
Mum
Don’t listen to Janice, love. Brussels sprouts don’t need messing about. Just trim them and simmer them. Easy. Mum xxx
Suze
Bex, I’m not actually that keen on brussels sprouts. Could we have broccoli instead? Suze xxx
Bex
Hi, Jess!
I think your idea of giving us all words for Christmas is really amazing!!! I was wondering if you wanted a suggestion for my word? Because if so—just a thought—you could give me “edgy.”
Bx
Bex
Or “cool.”
Bx
Bex
Or “The Girl in the Blue Eye Shadow.” I know that’s more than one word, but I mean, they’re free, aren’t they?
Bx
Jess
Becky, I’m not going to tell you what your present is.
Jess
From: Myriad Miracle
To: Becky Brandon
Subject: Fitness questionnaire!
Hi, Mrs. Brandon (née Bloomwood):
Thank you for your completed online fitness questionnaire. We hope you’re excited to embark on your new Myriad Miracle Training System™ program!
However, we think you may have misconstrued some of the questions and request that you resubmit them for our analysis.
QUESTIONS FOR RESUBMISSION
12. What is your specific aim?
We would expect a fitness or well-being goal rather than “Squish into Alexander McQueen dress.”
13. Do you have any particular areas of concern?
We would expect an area such as “body fat percentage” or “cardio fitness,” rather than “zip.”
We look forward to receiving your amended questionnaire.
Happy health-seeking!
Debs
(membership assistant)
I am still edgy. I am.
I’m staring at myself in the mirror before work on Monday morning, tweaking my Letherby tweed suit, which I’ve just “distressed.” I was inspired by my friend Danny Kovitz, the designer. He can take a sack, gather it in places, fray a hem or two—and make it look like an amazing dress. So I thought I’d do the same thing. Only I’m not sure I’ve created quite the same effect.
I’ve unpicked a couple of seams, shredded the hems with my nail scissors, and added some brooches. I also tried to gather the jacket with some stitches, creating new shape and line—except I created a weird bulge instead. I might unpick that quickly.
“I’m off, Becky,” says Luke, striding into the bedroom, holding his briefcase. He stops dead at the sight of me. “Wow,” he adds cautiously. “You look…different.”
“It’s edgy,” I say quickly. “I’ve distressed it.” Then I realize he’s peering at my face. “Oh, my eye shadow?” I add carelessly. “Yes, I thought I’d go for a stronger look.”
On the way back from Shoreditch, I popped into Boots and bought a makeup palette called Ultimate Drama, and I’ve just followed a YouTube tutorial called Edgy Blue-Black Look.
I mean, OK. It’s quite dramatic for a Monday morning. But, then, why shouldn’t Monday mornings be about bold eye shadow?
“Uh-huh,” says Luke slowly. “Is that a blue streak in your hair?”
“Only a tiny one.” I shrug.
“And what’s this music?” asks Luke curiously, tilting his head to listen to the beat thumping through the room.
“Spittser,” I say casually. “You know, the DJ? He’s awesome. He was DJ’ing in Gdańsk last night. Shame we couldn’t have been there.”