arms in, because it turns out you need to do both on Christmas Day—what with all the hugging and exclaiming and cooking and toasting one another.
And it was while I was admiring myself in the mirror that Luke gave me the best Christmas present of all. He came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, and I peered at him, thinking, Something’s different…something’s changed….Till it hit me. The mustache was gone!
“Your mustache, Luke!” I exclaimed cautiously. “It’s…Did you…”
“You don’t mind, do you, Becky?” Luke said. “You’re not too upset? I know you loved my mustache, but I just don’t think it’s me.”
“It’s fine,” I said in generous tones. “You need to do what makes you feel happy, Luke.”
“You did love it?” he added, meeting my eye—and there was suddenly a teasing note in his voice.
“Of course,” I replied with dignity. “I said so, didn’t I?”
“Yes, my love,” he said, looking amused. “You did say so.”
I still don’t know how he worked it out—but I don’t care. I have a husband with no mustache! Result!
And now it’s 2:00 P.M. and I feel as if we’ve already done a million things. We’ve heard the vicar’s carol medley, which went disastrously wrong but was covered up by spirited tambourine playing. The children have bashed at the piñata and screamed with delight as sweets cascaded down. Mum and Janice have put candles on their hair to sing Swedish songs, although that only lasted thirty seconds, because they both got a bit unnerved. Then Janice gave us all our “Christmas makeovers,” so everyone now looks a bit shiny and streaky and weird.
We’ve served champagne, Baileys, sweet sherry, festive mojitos, and organic kombucha (Jess). I’ve passed around a selection of canapés, consisting of smoked salmon on bread, smoked salmon on crackers, smoked salmon on blini, and smoked salmon on cocktail sticks.
And now it’s time for our big turkey lunch, and I feel…what do I feel?
“I feel sprygge,” I say, realizing it only as Suze comes into the kitchen. “Totally, utterly sprygge.”
“Me too,” says Suze in heartfelt tones. “You know, we thought you’d been kidnapped last night! I think my heart’s only just stopped juddering.”
I tuck tinfoil round the turkey like Mary Berry says to do, and say, “OK, it’s resting,” in my most knowledgeable Christmas-hostess manner. (I’m not sure what this whole “resting” thing is, actually, but I would trust Mary Berry with my life.)
“How many kinds of stuffing are you doing?” asks Suze, peering into the oven.
“Three. Plus spicy falafels,” I add, pointing at the top baking tray.
“Spicy falafels?” Suze stares at me.
“Everyone likes spicy falafels for Christmas,” I say defensively. “And they’re ethical. Come on, time for some presents.”
“Well, the turkey looks wonderful, Bex,” says Suze as we head out of the kitchen, back to the sitting room. “It all looks wonderful. Thank God for Steph!”
Because it was Steph who saved the day on the turkey front. When we finally got back home from the pet shop, all feeling a bit hysterical (and bruised in my case, because being hauled out of a narrow skylight isn’t as much fun as you would think), there she was. Sitting on the front doorstep. With the massive turkey next to her and Minnie’s costume on her lap.
“I took delivery!” she called out as we came in the garden gate. “Don’t worry, no substitutions!”
“Steph!” I exclaimed, feeling staggered. “You’re amazing! Thank you so much! But…your family…”
“It was the least I could do,” said Steph. “Luke called to say you were missing and ask if I’d heard from you. He said he was heading out to find you—and I thought, ‘Well, at any rate I can make sure they get their turkey.’ So I came straight round. My mum agreed I should. She’s…we’re all grateful to you, Becky.”
“Bex, why is Steph Richards at your house?” said Suze, looking bewildered. “What’s she talking about?” And for a moment I didn’t know how I was going to explain our friendship without giving too much away. But I needn’t have worried, because as we got near, Steph stood up and said resolutely, “Hi, Suze. I don’t know if Becky’s mentioned it, but my husband’s just left me.”
“Oh,” said Suze, looking taken aback. “Right. No. I had no idea. I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Well, I was keeping it secret,” said Steph. “But I’m not anymore. Anyway, Becky’s been kind of a rock in recent weeks, so I’m glad I could give something back.” Then she held out the blue