Christmas at Holiday House - RaeAnne Thayne Page 0,46
a little. “Not at all. It sounds as if you loved your husband very much.”
It seemed odd to be talking about her late husband five minutes after she and Ethan had just been exploring each other’s mouths, but she didn’t know how else to explain.
“Kevin was a wonderful man. Once I fell for him, I never looked at anyone else.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “Now I feel even more like a jerk who took advantage of you in a weak moment. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I’m sorry.”
She met his gaze and held it. “You weren’t a jerk, Ethan. Far from it. I’m glad you kissed me. Just as I said. Kevin has been gone for two years. I miss him and part of me will always love him. He gave me Christopher, my greatest joy.”
She folded her hands in front of her. “As much as I loved him, I’m not prepared to wrap my heart in tissue paper like one of Winnie’s fragile ornaments and tuck it away on a shelf somewhere for the rest of my life. I’m ready to move on. That’s one of the reasons I’ve decided to relocate to Austin.”
“To move on?”
“I’ve been on two dates since Kevin died. Both of them were with perfectly nice men. The first one I wouldn’t let kiss me, though he wanted to. Just the idea of it made me feel sick. The second man I dated, I decided to let him kiss me good-night so I could see what would happen. It wasn’t pretty. As soon as he kissed me, I seriously had to throw up. Like, right that minute. I ended up literally shoving him out the door and barely made it to the bathroom in time.”
Was she really telling him this? If there was anything guaranteed to make sure he didn’t try kissing her again, this story would certainly do it.
“I was convinced something was wrong with my psyche and I probably would have to go through some heavy-duty therapy or something.” She smiled. “Thanks to you, now I don’t think so. I’m happy to report I didn’t feel a hint of nausea when you kissed me. In fact, I very much enjoyed it. So thank you.”
“You’re...welcome?”
He still looked extremely uncomfortable with the entire situation. She felt a pang of regret that she had just given him ample reason not to ever kiss her again.
“I should...probably go,” he said, gesturing to the door.
She wanted him to kiss her again but knew that wasn’t likely to happen again. Just the fact that she wanted him to still felt like a victory.
“Right. Well, good night. Thank you again for helping out with the Christmas tree. Winnie will love it.”
“That’s the important thing,” he said with a lopsided smile.
She was glad he had kissed her, she thought as he grabbed his coat, wished her good-night and walked out the door. Ethan wasn’t the man for her, she knew that. But at least she had learned she was capable of feeling desire again.
The only downside was that she suspected she would be aching for more now every time she saw him.
Nine
“The big tree looks marvelous, darling. Thank you so much for helping Abigail last night, especially after you had been traveling. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you were willing to help, despite your personal feelings about the fundraiser we’re throwing.”
Ethan fought the urge to roll his eyes. He said one thing about worrying for his grandmother’s safety and everybody made him out to be some kind of ill-tempered ogre, stomping around in protest of the Silver Belles and their efforts to raise money for a good cause.
“You are a hard woman to say no to,” he told his grandmother into the speakerphone. Outside the windows of his corner office, it was snowing again. He had a mental image of Abby’s sheer joy in the snowfall the night before. And then he remembered what came a few moments later, the heat and delicious taste of her, and had to turn away from his office window.
“I’m sorry I bailed after you came all that way to visit me last night. I was so tired from everything we’ve been doing to get ready. Still, I feel terribly guilty I didn’t try to stay up to help you decorate the tree. Were you there long?”
About fifteen minutes longer than he should have been. If he had been smart and left as soon as they’d