“Nicolas,” she cautioned. “I’m hanging on by a thread. You’re supposed to help.”
“Tell me why again, and I’ll work on it.”
“We don’t know what can happen.” He was still standing close enough that she could feel the heat of his body. His need was urgent and evident and he made no effort to hide his arousal. “And,” she held up her hand before he could speak, “I’m not completely comfortable with you yet.”
He sighed softly. “You managed to think of the one thing to say that gives me no other recourse.” He went up the stairs, his body aching for relief.
Nicolas would normally revel in the hot shower after such uncomfortable conditions, but he found he was different. Soaping the mud from his hair, he contemplated his uneasiness. As a rule, he enjoyed solitude. He needed seclusion. Isolation was his chosen way of life, so much so that he normally avoided people, yet he felt reluctant to be away from Dahlia.
He was a methodical man, one who thought things through logically. As he showered, he forced his mind to regain discipline and control. He should have been the one controlling the situation, not Dahlia, and yet she had stopped them both times. His lack of discipline when he was all about discipline confused him. Determined to recover his normal tranquility, he used the training ingrained in him by his maternal grandfather, Konin Yogosuto. Automatically he began deep breathing. He concentrated on his teachings, beliefs that were a part of his life, a part of who he was. Unification of mind and body. Complete harmony in the universe. One with the universe. Where there is chaos, there must also be calm. He repeated the soothing mantra, allowing the familiar teachings to center him.
Energy, sexual or violent, even normal energy, swarmed to Dahlia. He created the energy simply by thinking of her. By wanting her. If he was to find a path with her, he needed to find a measure of control. Dahlia was a unique woman, one who had lived a life of solitude and betrayal. She wouldn’t trust him until he earned that trust, no matter how attracted they were physically. Dahlia needed friendship and she needed to feel “normal,” whatever that might be. Whatever it was, he was determined he would find a balance that would work for them.
It felt good to be clean and dry again. He dragged on a pair of jeans and thought about what Dahlia’s life had to have been like. While he was hunting and fishing and learning martial arts, she was alone in rooms filled with one-way glass and silent watchers. His grandfathers loved him and often hugged him, beaming with approval when he succeeded. There had been two women in Dahlia’s life, and their loyalty had not been entirely hers. She needed time. Even if a sexual relationship bound them together, Nicolas knew it would never be enough for him. He knew he wanted all of Dahlia Le Blanc, not just her body.
DAHLIA dressed slowly, grateful for the clothes Jesse had stored in the closet for her. As she pulled on a pair of jeans, she listened to the sound of the shower. Nicolas had power now, and he knew it. Dahlia had never let another human being have true power over her since Dr. Whitney had when she’d been a child. Others might believe they had control, but it was never so. She should never have blurted out the truth, telling him she wanted to kiss him.
Jesse had always told her she should have a backup plan and not to trust anyone entirely. It had never seemed a problem before. Even Milly and Bernadette, the two people she’d really loved, had reported to someone else about her. It hadn’t been just Dr. Whitney they’d reported to. Whitney had lost interest in her around the age of seventeen or eighteen. He had provided the money for her home and the specialized gymnasium equipment, but once he had made a decision that she would never be able to work as an operative, he never returned. Had he checked, even once, he would have found she’d proved him wrong, perhaps out of sheer stubborness.
Dahlia wandered into the kitchen and opened cupboards. They were stocked only with the bare necessities. She made a pot of coffee, mainly for the aroma and something to do with her hands while she tried to puzzle out who wanted her dead. Who knew about her, and why would they want her dead? Was it possible those she’d worked with didn’t want it known that she did recovery work for them and sent out a team to kill not only her, but Milly and Bernadette as well? It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense.
She rubbed at her damp hair with the towel, taking out the excess moisture. There was no need to kill any of them. No one would ever believe Dahlia Le Blanc, a woman raised in a sanitarium. It was the perfect cover and the perfect protection. If she were caught, she was simply a mad-woman unhinged by her own conspiracy theories.
She looked up as Nicolas sauntered into the room. His hair was damp from his shower and he wore only a pair of soft blue jeans. He was barefoot and shirtless, showing a broad, bronzed chest that robbed her of her ability to think clearly. She tried not to stare, but it was a losing proposition. In a lame attempt to cover her reaction to his presence, she settled into one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m just making coffee. I thought we both could use a cup.”
“It smells great.” Automatically, he glanced at the windows, making certain no one could see them from any angle.
“Tell me a little bit about how you got into recovery work,” Nicolas suggested.
Dahlia leaned back and allowed herself a long look at him. “I think I only said I’d do it because Dr. Whitney said I couldn’t do it. I really detested that man.”
“So you’re contrary on top of everything else.”
She watched the way his muscles rippled as he made his way to the coffeepot. He reached easily into the cupboard and pulled out two mugs. “Very contrary when it’s needed. The man who recruited me wore a uniform, and both Milly and Bernadette were afraid of him. More than just nervous, you know? I think he had a couple of stars on his uniform. Whitney was there at the time.” She shrugged. “I was about seventeen, I think, and deliberately didn’t pay much attention.”
“What about his sleeve? Did you see an anchor alongside the stars?”
“Now that you say that, yes he did.”
“Curious. So he presented himself as part of the military. This could have started as a black ops. Covert. Whitney had a lot of ties to the military. Most of his contracts were with the government, and he had a high security clearance. But if Whitney later became suspicious that you were being used by someone who didn’t have his approval, why didn’t he take you out of there?”
“Whitney and I didn’t get along very well. When he was around, there were a few accidents.” Dahlia studied her fingernails. “And yes, they were true accidents. I don’t hurt people on purpose. The repercussions are brutal. I just hadn’t learned to control my feelings. Teenagers have such intense emotions.” She shrugged. “I think he preferred to forget I existed.”
“He remembered you enough to leave a letter to Lily asking her to find you and the other women he experimented on.”
“I suppose I should be grateful.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Nicolas said. “If Jesse Calhoun is a Navy SEAL and the man you saw had the uniform of an officer, and it sounds as if he could be rear admiral, then we should probably start with any Navy connections to a high-level security splinter group. Before we found you, the GhostWalker program was slated to be wiped out by a splinter group of military. We thought we got all of them, but maybe we missed somebody. And if that’s the case, they’d know about Lily and the rest of us.”
“Are Lily and the others in danger?” Dahlia asked quickly. “Call them and warn them to be careful. I don’t want anything to happen to Lily, especially because of me.”
“It wouldn’t be because of you, Dahlia. Lily is committed to the GhostWalkers, and she’s very committed to finding each of the women Dr. Whitney experimented on and helping them recover.”
Dahlia resumed towel drying her hair, wishing she had a brush. “How did you get involved with the experiment?”
Nicolas hesitated, choosing his words carefully. He had never told anyone the reasons for his involvement. “I needed my psychic abilities enhanced.”
Dahlia waited for more. When it wasn’t forthcoming she looked across the table at him with a raised eyebrow. “Nicolas, no one needs their psychic ability enhanced.