Dimitri's silence frightened Skyler. Surely he felt the same way. She knew the drive to claim one's lifemate was primal, strong, nearly impossible to ignore—and Dimitri had managed to ignore it for years. Was he as worried about her inability to commit to a physical relationship as she was? That stood to reason.
He was rejecting her. Pain sliced through her like a knife. She pulled her knees into her chest, drawn into the fetal position. She'd waited too long. She had made him wait forever, thinking he would always be there for her.
Dimitri felt her instant fear, the pain of rejection, and cursed himself for such clumsy handling of her tremendous gift. And it was a gift, a treasure beyond anything else she could ever offer him. His mind felt slow and sluggish. He could barely breathe, his lungs laboring, and the agonizing burn of the silver hadn't allowed his brain to function in the way he needed.
Sívamet, you are my heart. You are, Hän ku vigyáz sívamet és sielamet—keeper of my heart and soul. Above all else, I want to bind our souls together. It is my greatest wish. But, Skyler, you cannot tempt me this way. I'm weak and you're vulnerable. We've both been through so much. You cannot tempt me, he reiterated again, hoping she understood what she meant to him, but that it was his duty to protect her.
She heard the urgent need in his voice, every bit as strong as it was in her, maybe stronger. Her heart settled. Fluttered. Filled with joy. She took in the fresh air. I know it's the right time. Our time. We need to be strong together. Bind me to you, my love. This is what I want.
How could he possibly explain to her the peril his life choices would put her in? He wanted her to be permanently his, bound so that no other could ever take her from his side, but they weren't in a safe place where he could surround her with his love and hold her close to him, reassure her if she became fearful. He didn't know if he would even live out the night. He couldn't even give her that reassurance.
I can't hold you in my arms and do it properly. Once this is done, it can't be undone.
Skyler found herself smiling. More than anything else she was certain of what she wanted, and she wanted to be Dimitri's lifemate in every sense of the word. She was merged with him and him with her. The connection between them was so strong. It had been growing since their first encounter. How could she not fall in love with him? How could she possibly want anyone else in her life?
Once we met, my love, we both knew our connection could never be undone. I want this with all my heart. I want you with all my heart. I know I'm ready. I would follow you anywhere, Dimitri. I would walk on fire to get to you.
How can you be so certain?
Skyler crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at the branches above her head. The forest was preparing for nightfall and the birds were returning to their roosts. She was fully prepared to take the next step in her life—her biggest step.
Today I met a stranger in the forest. I was alone with a man I didn't know. He was big and strong and looked very tough. Before I actually saw him, I felt his presence and knew he watched me. For a moment, I was that terrified child again, helpless and hopeless and wanting to slip deep into my mind where no one could harm me.
Sívamet, I am so sorry. Dimitri wanted to shake down the very trees holding him prisoner to get to her. His Skyler. She deserved to always feel safe.
No, it was a good thing. I knew who I was. I'm Skyler, lifemate to Dimitri. I knew then that I could brave anything—even my past—in order to get to you. I am your lifemate, and I will be all things you need as you already are to me.
She knew she was committing to a physical relationship with him—that was part of being a lifemate. She meant what she said, she would brave anything for him, learn anything for him. He was already part of her. She had found on this journey of awakening that she was beginning to know the signs of physical attraction.