Paul snickered and held up his hand to give Josef a high five. "Oh, yeah, I'd like to see them slinking home in their birthday suits."
Both men erupted into laughter.
Skyler rolled her eyes, trying hard not to laugh with them. "You're impossible, Josef. Those men are going to have to make it through their neighborhood without a stitch on." She pressed her palm against her mouth, but laughter spilled out anyway.
Paul's eyes met hers in the rearview mirror and Josef turned in his seat, his eyes sparkling with amusement. All three of them burst out laughing.
Skyler had forgotten what it was like being with them. At college, she'd made a few friends, but she was guarded with them at all times—she had to be. At home, Gabriel and Francesca were loving and wonderful parents. Her baby sister, Tamara, was the most adorable child in the world and she couldn't imagine life without her, but she couldn't be honest with them about her relationship with Dimitri.
She wasn't Carpathian and she couldn't wait until she was fifty years of age to be with her lifemate. She was human. Without Dimitri, she might not have gotten through many of the long nights where she woke with sweat covering her body and the memories of men pawing at her, hurting her, beating and using her. She'd been a child, but that hadn't mattered to them.
She'd learned to keep her screams silent, internal, and when she had nightmares, she did the same thing. Dimitri always heard her. Always. He came to her in the dark of the night, at her worst moments, surrounding her with unconditional love. He never asked her for anything. He never demanded his rights or threw it in her face that he suffered because she wasn't able to fully be his lifemate.
And he did suffer. As the years had gone by, Skyler was more adept at accessing his mind and memories. She saw clearly the terrible darkness crouched like a monster, whispering in temptation, trying to destroy him.
Dimitri. Beloved. I'm so afraid for you. I'm holding you close to me, pretending that I'm certain you're alive, lying to my closest, dearest friends, but in reality I can barely breathe. The terror of being without you feels so close—so real.
She waited there in the darkness, grateful for the backseat in the truck, grateful that Paul and Josef fought over the music and thought her asleep. She kept her eyes closed and her breathing even, but her heart pounded too hard, raced too fast and surely, at least, Josef could detect that. If so, he was polite enough not to call her on her pretense.
The silence stretched. There was no answer. Dimitri, even in his worst moments, once even during a battle with a vampire, had always sent her reassurance if she reached for him, however brief it might be. The silence was cold and lonely and absolutely terrifying to her. She'd lived too long in a nightmare with no way to escape until Francesca had found her. But still, her nights had always been spent trapped in those earlier years, repeating and repeating until she thought she might go insane.
Francesca had done everything she could think of to help alleviate the nightmares, including giving Skyler Carpathian blood. She took turns with Gabriel sitting by Skyler's bed when the nightmares were so bad Skyler could only scream, recognizing no one. They'd called in healers. Nothing worked—until Dimitri. There was only Dimitri to stand between her and her past. Now that shield was gone and as hard as she tried, she could not reach him.
Terror gripped her. Sorrow. Despair. There was no way to go on if Dimitri wasn't in the world. Her knight. Her other half. She took a breath and reached again, pouring everything she felt, everything she was into her urgent plea.
My love. If you think to protect me from something terrible, it cannot be worse than thinking you're dead. I need you. Your touch. Even if it's just for one moment. I can't breathe without you. I need to know you live and there is hope for us.
The burst of pain was sheer agony. Her body went rigid. Convulsed. The air was driven from her lungs in one long scream that abruptly ended when her air supply did. She couldn't think, the pain turning every nerve ending to fire. Her fingernails tore at her skin, trying to ease the burn.