“You said you would get me through it, and I felt you there with me. I listened to our song.”
“Our song?”
She nodded. “Your song and my song have blended together and I can’t tell where yours starts because mine is so completely embedded in yours.”
He still wasn’t certain what she was saying. He could see the musical notes in her mind, silver and gold, moving around them in the air, sometimes close, sometimes spreading out. He couldn’t see them without looking in her mind.
“That’s how I found this place.” She gasped and shuddered, her hands tightening on his wrists while she breathed deeply, breathed her way through the rippling pain.
Fane breathed with her, staring into her eyes. Inside her mind, he could see the musical notes turn to crimson and ruby. The notes blazed brightly, so brightly it hurt his eyes. Intermingled with the crimson and ruby notes were others in purple and black. Sorrow. Pain. He knew her song had merged with his.
“You take my breath away,” he said softly. “Even in this, when pain surrounds you, there is such beauty. Your song is amazing, Trixie. It’s all about love and acceptance.”
She moistened her lips. “So is yours.”
“We fit.”
She nodded. “I will not be so easy to live with.”
He heard the warning in her voice. She thought herself so tough. She had no idea of the dangerous man he was. He would never be dangerous to her, but he would guard her fiercely. He wanted her to have her life—the one a young girl had dreamt of. He was the man who would be at her back and catch her every time she might fall. He didn’t mind her little penchant for violence—he found it amused him, and most things didn’t amuse him.
“I won’t be, Fane,” she warned again. “I think this is one of those cases where you should be very careful of what you wished for.”
He brought her hands to his mouth, kissing her knuckles, an intimate gesture he hoped told her how he felt. “You trusted me, Trixie. You gave that to me.”
“I believe in you, Fane. I don’t know when it happened, because I’ve never believed in any man, but I knew you would see me through it, no matter how bad it got. More, I needed to know what my Teagan had gone through for her lifemate. I wondered if she had done so willingly, or if he forced her.”
Fane winced. He knew she felt that wince in his mind. Through his body and the connection of their hands.
“I would say we have no choice, hän sívamak, but of course there is always a choice. I would not have survived without you. Andre would never have survived without Teagan, and Aleksei . . .” He leaned close to her. “Aleksei would have been difficult for any of us to kill. He is skilled beyond imagining. All of the ancients secluded here in the monastery are.”
Her eyes moved over his face. Drifted. Her eyelashes fluttered. She was exhausted. Still, he didn’t send her to sleep. He’d asked enough of her and she had stepped into his world willingly. She hadn’t expected the agony of the conversion, but she’d handled it stoically. His lady. His. He had never believed, after so long, so many centuries of darkness, that he would ever find his lifemate. He had given up hope. The others in the monastery had given up hope as well.
“You needed me, didn’t you?” she whispered.
“I needed you more than I needed air to breathe. I always will. You will never have to worry that I would look elsewhere for my happiness. You are home to me. You are my miracle, and having gone centuries without you, believe me, I know how precious you are.”
“Fane.”
She just said his name. A reprimand. She was reprimanding him because he was trying to reassure her. She thought he would be happy with a young, immature woman, but she had seen life and she was accepting of difficulties. She put family first. She was loyal and generous in her giving, which meant she would be in her lovemaking. She had every trait he could possibly want in a woman.
“Let me say this, Trixie. You deserve to hear it. You are my world. Do not ever be afraid of speaking your mind. Telling me what you think. If there comes a time when your outspoken opinions put you in danger, trust me to handle that.”
She gave him a faint smile. “You mean by shutting me up?”
“If need be. But I do not foresee a lot of that happening in the future.”
“Just so you know, if you silence me I will retaliate.”
He laughed softly. “I have no doubt of that, beloved.” He smoothed his hand over her hair. “You need to go to sleep, Trixie. When you wake, you will be completely healed.”
She cleared her throat and, for the first time, looked frightened. “Do I have to sleep in the ground?”
He wasn’t going to lie to her, but he wished he could soften the blow. For humans, that was one of the most difficult obstacles to overcome. Sleeping in the ground, for them, was like being buried alive. He picked that thought from her mind. For her, it was worse than taking blood. She liked the taste of him.
“You will go to sleep and I will put us there together. The soil will heal your body. You will not wake until I bring you back to the surface.”
“How can you be certain?”