She nodded, miserable. “I hate not knowing what I’m supposed to do. And there might not be a right way, but there’s a way you like it. That’s the way I want to do it.”
“What did I tell you about that, Cat? When you need something, talk to me. You want information, especially about something as important as this, you talk to me. Kitten, I like anything I can get from you. Anything. Any way. I need to know you’re with me because you want to be with me, not because you have to.” He shoved a hand through his hair, messing it up.
She liked his hair messed up. Already her body was heating up. Needing. Hungry for him. She let it happen because this time she was going to ask. If he needed to know she wanted him as much as he wanted her, she could show him that.
“I thought tying you to me with sex would be a good idea, Catarina,” he confessed. “But in the end, all it’s done is make you think that’s all I want from you. I have to admit, I’m very sexual, it matters. I’m not saying it doesn’t. But all the rest of it, all that you give me, the way you give it to me, your surrender to me, putting up with my shit, that makes the physical take a backseat. You get me? Do you understand what I’m saying to you, baby? Because it’s important you know that.”
She nodded. Took a breath. Made a decision. “I’m going to get your coffee for you. I want you to take your clothes off and sit in your favorite chair and wait for me. I’ll be out in a minute and I’ll expect a little direction.”
His golden eyes searched hers for a long time. A slow heat crept in. Hunger. Desire. Lust. She watched it build. She had put that look there. He liked control, but she was taking charge and he liked that too.
“Don’t be long, baby. I’m already dying here a little.”
He leaned down and took her mouth in a long, slow kiss that only added to the fire burning so hot in her veins. When he lifted his head, she saw it. Stark, raw love. He took her breath away, but then he always did. She turned back to the kitchen, needing a little space to collect herself. She’d tamed the leopard. It was powerful and exhilarating. She’d made her stand, and he’d listened to her. He’d shared himself with her. He’d given her his childhood and his struggles.
As she made his favorite coffee, she realized he had the same struggle all along that Rafe had. His leopard was a dominant male, fierce and wild. Rafe had lost control, but Eli had taken control. That was why he was so overboard about control in the world he’d created for himself.
She stripped off her shirt and went to him naked. She stepped onto the porch and immediately saw him in the shadows. He sat in his chair, following her instructions, naked, his cock already hard and thick. One hand fisted the length and slowly, casually moved up and down in a mesmerizing slide. Her mouth watered. She loved seeing him do that. That simple action turned her on all the more.
She set the coffee down on the small table beside him. Her courage was beginning to fail a little. She still didn’t know what she was doing.
“I’m not certain I’ll be able to drink that coffee with your mouth wrapped around me, baby,” he confided, his voice low. Husky. Sexy. “I think that might be too much of a distraction to enjoy the coffee. But, baby, if that’s what you want, then that’s what I’ll do. Or I’ll try.”
She found herself smiling. She knew he was deliberately putting her at ease. “I thought, at first, you could let me…” She trailed off, hesitating. He waited, and she sighed. “Explore.”
He smiled at her. “I get that. I’ll just sit back and drink my coffee. We’re not in any hurry, although this might just kill me. There’s no right way or wrong way right now. I want you to do some exploring. Whatever feels good to you. Get to know the shape and feel of me, you’ll know what I like and what I don’t. I won’t like the feel of your teeth, but I’ll love your tongue.”
She took a breath, her eyes searching his face for a long while. He was patient. Her gaze dropped to his cock still wrapped in his hand. He was big. Long and thick. The crown was broad and looked silky. She loved to look at him. He was all muscle, all power and danger. His cock matched the rest of him.
“Keep telling me what to do, Eli. When I hear your voice, it’s reassuring to me. I need to know you’re there. I like it when you give me guidance.” That was her confession. Her surrender. She hoped he understood what she meant.
Of course he knew. He immediately complied, using that low, commanding tone she loved. The one that vibrated between her legs and made her burn hotter.
“Kneel, Kitten, with your knees wide. That lets me see you like what you’re doing. That’s important to me, knowing you’re enjoying yourself.”
She moved into position between his legs. His skin was hot and smelled a little wild, feral, definitely primitive. She liked the way he smelled. There were two pearly drops on the silken head of his cock and she leaned into him to lick them off as she opened her knees wide.
His taste was addicting. She didn’t know if he was that way naturally or if it was the things he chose to eat, only that she loved the taste of him and always craved more. For her, this moment was huge. She wanted to know she could please him just the way he pleased her. She needed to feel on the same level with him, that he wanted her just the way she wanted him, that no one else would do. And she needed to know that she could bring him to the very edge of his control, or even, possibly, tipping him past it. She liked that he cared enough to give her power. And she knew this was very powerful.
Eli dropped his hand to the top of Catarina’s head and brushed a caress over her hair with one hand while he reached casually for the coffee cup with the other. There was something very decadent about sitting on his porch in the late evening, a cup of coffee in his hand and his woman kneeling between his legs, her hands caressing his balls, her tongue gliding over the crown of his cock.
She looked so anxious that he cursed himself that he hadn’t seen the problem. He should have known she wouldn’t have the confidence to initiate sex, particularly sucking his cock in the early morning hours. He wanted to groan aloud at the thought of her looking at him and wondering what to do.
She stroked her tongue over his shaft, and then flicked it underneath the broad head. His body shuddered and fire raced up his shaft to radiate into his belly. His balls burned. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He wasn’t going to be able to last very long, not when he’d gone so long without her.
“Take your time, baby,” he murmured softly. She needed to know what she was doing was perfect, whether or not it was killing him.
She ran her lips up and down him, over his balls and back up to the crown, learning the shape and feel of him with her mouth and hands.
“That’s it. Pay attention to the cues I give you. Changes in my breathing. If I put my head back or tighten my thighs.” He took a sip of coffee and watched her tongue lick at him like an ice cream cone. That was enough to make him moan.
“Deeper, baby, take me deeper,” he encouraged.
Catarina did what he said, and he put down his coffee cup. She liked it a lot better when he put the cup down and she knew she had him, that what she was doing was getting to him. She found if she suckled strongly and did a little moaning of her own, the sensation really got to him. She found the most sensitive spots, and she worked them, enjoying every shudder of his body.
“That’s perfect, baby,” he praised. “You’re already a master at this, and you want to know why? Because it matters to you. You really do want to please me. You’re beautiful, Cat, so fucking beautiful.”
She loved the rasp in his voice. The way he was always so decisive and commanding. She loved that he gave her praise when she did something right. She loved her mouth on him. His taste. The way his body shuddered with pleasure. And she especially loved that she was the one giving him that pleasure.