“Will we, Eli? Will you listen to me?”
He heard the slight tremor in her voice. She was being very brave, trying to get a sense of her future with him. He didn’t want to lie to her and paint a pretty picture. He wasn’t going to be easy to live with, but he’d been with her enough to know she fit with him. She didn’t know it yet, but he knew it. He felt it.
He brought her hand to his mouth and slowly pried open her fingers. Pressing his mouth to the center of her palm he looked into her brilliant blue eyes. She was really trying for him and he appreciated it. His heart turned over, like it often did when she looked so fragile.
She had grown up in a terrible household and she knew the criminal world, but in many ways she’d been sheltered. Cordeau hadn’t wanted her to know too much about anything in the world so that when her leopard emerged, she would be totally reliant on him for anything, including information she would need.
Had Cordeau planned to shape her into the kind of mate he needed for his killer leopard? Would he have tried to force her to hunt humans with him? If she had done so even once, thinking all shifters did, the shame and guilt would have tied her to Cordeau for eternity.
“I’ll listen to you, Catarina, I promise. I’m going to make certain you’re happy here. I’ve noticed you don’t need much to make you happy. Laughter, music, great coffee and a kitchen. And boots. I have to get you killer, sexy boots.” He was rewarded for remembering by her quick smile and he vowed to get right on finding boots for her.
She took a breath, studying his face, her eyes searching his. He knew she was looking for hope. “Do you really think we have a chance to live a life here, Eli?”
“For a while. We’ve got time. He can’t trace us here. The ranch can’t be traced to me. Even the DEA doesn’t know about it. Cordeau’s got eyes and ears, but we’re gone. My neighbor will close ranks with us, and once your leopard emerges we’ll be able to figure out our next move.”
“You said we’d visit the neighbor after my leopard emerges. Why not before?”
He leveled a gaze at her. “Baby. Really? And when she suddenly comes close to the surface and you need me riding you hard, we going to do it on the neighbor’s kitchen floor?”
She blushed again and gently removed her hand from his to push at her long hair. “I see. I hadn’t thought of that. I guess I thought I’d gain control.”
“There is no controlling a mating heat, Cat, no matter how much we both might want to. When she decides to show herself, you’ll be on fire. I’ll be on fire and both the cats will be. We just have to hang on to each other wherever we are and ride it out.”
She tugged her lower lip between her teeth. “How much longer?”
“I don’t know. No one ever knows. The male shifter is aware of his leopard almost from birth, but the female knows absolutely nothing until the human cycle lines up with the leopard’s cycle.”
“Um… Eli,” she said softly. “You aren’t using birth control.”
“It doesn’t work on shifters. You either get pregnant or you don’t.”
“Condoms?” She raised her eyebrow.
“You’ve seen me, babe, how I’m built, and we don’t just have sex. We have rough sex. I’ve never known condoms to work on a shifter either.”
“What about when you have sex with a woman who isn’t a shifter?”
“Birth control works on humans.” He pushed off the table. “Get dressed, Kitten, let’s start our conditioning.”
She stared up at him for a few more minutes as though she might protest the truth of what he said. But it was truth, and he had no more to give her. He wanted time alone with her, but if a baby came along, he was fine with that. He hoped she would be too.
“You could have warned me,” she pointed out.
“Would it have made any difference when your leopard was close?”
She shook her head. Honest. “No, I guess not.”
He watched her walk away, wishing he could read her mind.
13
SUNSET. The sky turned orange and red as they jogged together, turning back toward the house. The wind shifted subtly and Eli instantly scented the males. They were close. Too close. He wanted Catarina to know where the property lines were and to familiarize herself with the way to the neighboring ranch, but he hadn’t expected to meet anyone along the way.
He was too pent up sexually. His leopard prowled too close. He cursed under his breath, knowing he had no choice but to introduce Catarina to Jake’s crew.
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.
Her voice only added to the increasing frustration. Working out with a permanent hard-on was becoming nearly impossible. He hurt like hell. Every muscle in his body hurt thanks to the hunger crawling through him, raking at him. And now this.