She snuggled into Ridley’s warmth so she wouldn’t have to lie to him. He was adept at reading lies, and she wanted him to think she’d wait.
“You’re a pretty good kisser, Ridley,” she said, touching her fingers to her lips. “Just in case none of your many women failed to mention that to you.”
She felt him relax. He thought he’d won. The tension went out of all that corded muscle. “Baby, if I’m your first kiss, how would you know?”
Amusement tinged the velvet smooth of his voice. Affection. She let it wash over and into her, pulling the memory into a secret part of herself she would hold on to forever.
“I know,” she said firmly.
He shifted her to the bed. She curled onto her side and was a little surprised when he stretched out beside her. He seemed to take up the entire bed. It was only a twin and he scooted her over to the edge, laid back and then tucked her into his side. His hands slid up behind his head, as if he couldn’t trust himself not to touch her.
“Your bed’s too small.”
“I fit in it,” she was compelled to point out.
“Yeah, Kitten, I know. But it’s not big enough. When we get to the point where I’m staying here and you’re staying at my place, we’ll need a bigger bed.”
She closed her eyes, wishing there was that possibility, knowing she’d never have another time of sharing a bed with him. She wanted to savor every second.
“Okay.” That was the best she could do. Even then her voice shook.
Ridley shifted position again, turning on his side, sliding one hand around her waist to pull her into him, and then he settled his hand, fingers splayed wide, on the strip of bare skin not covered by her tank. She felt his palm and every one of his fingers like a burning brand. Her breath hitched in her lungs. Her throat felt raw. She closed her eyes to keep any burning at bay.
She wanted nothing to spoil this moment for her, not even the knowledge that she would never see him again. She let herself have her fantasy. She belonged to Ridley Cromer and he was madly in love with her.
“Don’t go to sleep on me yet, baby,” Ridley said softly. His hand began to move in slow circles on her belly. “I want to make certain you understand where this is going.”
She turned her head and looked at him. His eyes were strange. Different. He had the same focused stare that made her feel as if she were the only person on the planet. The only one on his radar. Still, his eyes were different. The irises were wholly gold. They even glowed a little as if his night vision was every bit as good as hers.
“I don’t understand.”
“This man you’re running from. The cops. They have nothing to do with you and me. Whatever happens, Kitten, it’s still you and me. We’ll find our way through it all together. I have no problem going with you to the police. I can find you a good lawyer. I don’t care what it takes, Cat, I’m not losing you over this.”
She swallowed hard and turned her face away from him. His hand moved to her chin and he turned her face back.
“I mean it, Catarina. I know you think whoever this man is that won’t get out of your life is bad. Invincible. But you only know my sweet side. You deserve sweet so I give it to you, but that’s not who I am. Look at me, baby. Really look at me. I have scars for a reason.”
Her gaze slid over his face. She’d memorized it of course. Every line. The little laugh lines around his eyes. The scars that only served to make him all the more handsome to her. He had a man’s face, not a boy’s. Even when his eyes went soft, his face was hard, carved of stone. He had a strong jaw and always a bit of scruff, as if no matter how often he shaved, his hair insisted on growing.
“I’m not sweet and gentle with anyone else, and I never will be. I can get this man out of your life, but you’ve got to let me in so I can do my job.”
“I let you in,” she said softly. She leaned into him and brushed a kiss across his mouth. “I’ve never let anyone touch me. Get inside. Only you.” That was all she had to give him, because she wouldn’t give him death.
Talking to him about Rafe would do that, and Ridley Cromer needed to be alive and well somewhere in the world in order for her to keep going. Now she had a reason for being alone and lonely. Now she had a reason to stay in the shadows. And that reason was stretched out beside her, tough as nails, as sweet as the beignets she loved from her home state.
“So talk to me.”
“I need more time. I can’t just make a decision without considering all the ramifications. And I’m tired. I don’t make decisions when I’m tired.” She had to let him go before she did do something like talk to him about Rafe. That was how far gone she was. That was how much she wanted him. But even halfway in love, or maybe because of it, she wasn’t going to risk his life.
He sighed, but the resignation was in his voice and on his face. “I’ll give you a few hours to sleep and then I’m coming back, Cat, and whether you like it or not, we’re going to talk.”
“Kiss me again.”
He shifted his body to half cover hers, his hands framing her face, and he brought his mouth down hard on hers. This was a different kiss entirely. This one said no way was she leaving him. He’d never let her go. This one said she belonged to him and no one else and there were so many more firsts he could give her.
Catarina kissed him back as best she could, following his lead, all the while committing every detail to memory. He stayed beside her while she drifted off, feeling warm and safe. She barely woke when he extricated himself from her and brushed his mouth across hers.
“I’ll see you tonight, Cat.”