She took a deep breath. She had the feeling he was more than capable of breaking someone’s neck, and that he would if provoked. There was a lot of violence in Jake. She suspected his past was one of abuse, but he’d never told her. She saw his scars. He referred to his parents as his enemies and he was never trusting, not at all.
“Let’s dispense with some of your other concerns, honey. That might help. What are you thinking about right now? There’s fear in your eyes.”
Her gaze shifted from his and then jumped back to his face as if expecting him to be upset with her. “When you loom over me I feel threatened, physically threatened. You can be very frightening, Jake. Yell all you want, but no hitting. Ever.”
He started to agree, then stopped. “We need to talk about this. If I ever hit you or the children in anger, Emma, I want you to take the children and go straight to Drake and Joshua. Tell them what happened and have them help you leave. And don’t come back. Don’t ever take me back. I want you to promise me you’ll do that. Drake and Joshua will have orders to help you. They’ll take you somewhere safe where I can’t get to you.”
She looked up at him, her gaze searching his. She nodded.
“But . . .” His smile turned sensual and her gaze turned wary. “There are things we can do in the bedroom that aren’t done in anger. Things that can be very erotic.”
She looked outraged and a little curious. “Hitting is not erotic under any circumstances.”
“No, but a spanking can be. And there are other things. I don’t want us to rule them out until you try them with me. If you don’t like something, we won’t do it again, but there will be no lying to me or to you. If you’re finding pleasure but you’re scared, we’ll be continuing. When you tell me no, you make damn sure that hot little body of yours isn’t wet.”
“That’s not fair, Jake,” Emma protested. “You always make me wet, even when you terrify me.” Like now. The words were unspoken but she blushed a dark crimson, afraid she might have said them aloud.
He framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, teasing at her reluctant mouth with tugging teeth and a dancing tongue until she opened for him. He was a phenomenal kisser, and she lost herself in him, giving herself up completely. He lifted his face first and traced her cheekbones with the pads of his fingertips.
“I like you wet for me. Don’t ever be embarrassed because you want me.” His hand dropped casually to the thick erection bulging in the front of his jeans. “I have the hard-on from hell and I’m not embarrassed. Isn’t it better that you’re a little in lust with the man you’re going to marry?”
“It doesn’t seem normal,” she confessed in a small voice. “We just . . .” Her voice trailed off and she made a face. “I’m still upset with you.”
“There’s no reason to be upset, Emma. You misread what I was doing. I can understand, after our earlier conversation, why you thought that, but never think it again. You’re mine, and I would never want you for my own if I didn’t respect you.”
He pulled a small box from his jeans. “This is for you. I had it made for you and if you put it on your finger, Emma, there’s no taking it back.”
He opened the box. The ring was unusual; brilliant golden diamonds shone up at her. They looked like a cat’s eye, the way they were shaped.
She sucked in her breath and put both hands behind her back to keep from reaching for it. “Jake.” She shook her head. “If I do this, you know you’ll be worse. You control everything, you can’t help yourself, and that’s a serious red flag for me.”
“I know I’m different, Emma,” Jake said, his voice low. It held that same hypnotic note she found so sexy. He leaned toward her, cupping her chin in his hand and bringing her face around to look at him. “Is it so bad having me be in control?”
The question was so soft, so low, his voice moving through her body like a thick, molten lava. She felt her body’s reaction and it frightened her—frightened her that she wanted to say no when she knew better.
“Have these last two years really been so difficult? Anytime you’ve come to me with a problem or a complaint, haven’t I acted on it immediately?”
“What about the gate, Jake? I couldn’t leave tonight. What about that?” She hated that she had a pleading note in her voice. She knew him. She knew he couldn’t be any different, that control was a huge issue to him. Even if he promised her, how could he be anything but what he was?
“I should have explained to you, but I didn’t want to scare you, Emma. That was wrong of me, but you’ve never wanted to leave the ranch before. When you did, you always told me well in advance and I could arrange for protection both for you and the children. I have enemies and they would hurt you and they’d take our children.”
“What enemies? Are you certain you’re just not being paranoid? You don’t trust anyone at all, Jake.”
“With good reason. No, I’m not paranoid. I wish I were. I’ve had to step up security over these last few months because evidence has come to my attention that someone plans to strike at me through you and the children.”
She frowned. “Why would they try to use me to get to you?”
He sighed, his thumb rubbing across her lips as if to erase her frown. “You’re the only person who would have to ask me that question. Aside from the children, Emma, who else do I care about? Everyone sees it but you.”
“Jake.” She looked at the ring. He just held it out there as if it were his heart. He looked so lonely. But . . .
“I need you far more than someone like Greg Patterson or even Andrew needs you. Look at me, Emma. I need you. I’ve never said that to another human being. It won’t be easy. I have a high sex drive and I won’t leave you alone. I’m protective and dominating—okay, controlling—and I don’t have social skills. I can’t promise you I won’t be hell to live with, but I can promise you I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.”
He took the ring out off the velvet and slipped the box back into his pocket. “Marry me. Spend your life with me. I’ll spend my life making you happy.”
He was putting the ring on her finger. She could feel the weight of it. He had been the one to take off Andrew’s ring when she lay in bed and her hands were swelling and she was afraid they’d have to cut it off. He’d been careful and he’d wrapped it up and put it in her top drawer. He was just as gentle when he slipped his ring on her finger.
“Jake, are you certain this is what you want?” She reached up to his face and pressed her fingers against his warm skin. It was cold outside, but, as always, he was hot. It was as if his core temperature was so much hotter than anybody else’s.