Emma’s throat closed and she shrank back against the counter, horrified at her thoughts. What was wrong with her? She’d never behaved like that. Never felt wanton and needy and desperate for sex. And with Jake? She’d never be able to live with herself afterward. After she became one of his discarded women. She’d have to leave Kyle. Take Andraya away from everything she knew. She had to get away from him.
In desperation, Emma lifted both hands and shoved hard at the wall of Jake’s chest.
6
JAKE trapped Emma’s hands against the wall of his chest and held her there. The hard push hadn’t even rocked him. “I’m not angry with you, honey. I’m sorry I’m acting like such a bastard. There’s no excuse.” And there wasn’t. Hell, she’d wanted to surprise him. She had surprised him. Not one other person in the world had thought to acknowledge his birthday. Only Emma. And he was snarling at her.
She looked up at him, her eyes searching his face. He did his best to look reassuring when he just wanted to kiss her again, this time making certain she felt the possession, so that she would know just whom she belonged to. Jake rubbed at his shadowed jaw, irritated by his thoughts. He’d put a lot of effort into his plan and Joshua wasn’t going to sneak in and take Emma out from under him when he wasn’t looking.
“Was it really bad out there?” Emma asked, trying to guess at the reason for his bad mood.
“We had to shift the entire herd until the men can get the fences back up and clear out the debris. I lost more than I’d first thought in that freak storm. Water backed up the canyon, causing a land shift.”
“I’m sorry.” She spoke quietly, sympathetically, picturing the dead and bloated cattle lying half buried in the mud.
He was watching her expressive face. “You’re too soft,” he drawled lazily, allowing her hands to slip away from his chest. His thumb slid over her skin, savoring the feel of her. “It’s a cattle ranch, honey. We’re going to have a few disasters.”
“So you keep telling me.” The tension in the room was slowly dissipating and Emma felt herself beginning to relax. Jake stepped away from her and she instantly felt the loss of his body heat, but it allowed her blood to cool and the terrible aching need to fade a bit. She took another deep breath, thankful she was regaining control.
Having a physical relationship with Jake would be total personal suicide. He didn’t keep women for long. He used them, let them use him, and then he discarded them. He wasn’t even nice about it, although she’d noticed most of the women kept coming back for more. She’d always felt sorry for his women as they called and left messages he never returned. She thought them a little sick to want such a twisted relationship, but here she was, her body melting into a pool of need at his feet. It was humiliating.
Just one time having sex with him and she would jeopardize the home she’d come to love. She would have to leave Kyle and take Andraya from Jake.
Jake legally adopted Andraya. The thought leapt unbidden into her head.
The one thing she knew about Jake was that he made a bitter, relentless enemy. He used every means possible to destroy his enemies. If she left, would he try to take Andraya from her? Not only was it a possibility, it was a probability.
Jake sprawled in a chair, feet out in front of him, his gaze once again on her face. “Never play poker, Emma,” he advised. He kicked at a chair, spinning it around in invitation. “I’m not in the mood for cat-and-mouse games, so sit down for a minute and tell me what’s gotten you so upset.”
“Let’s leave it, Jake,” Emma suggested softly, not meeting his focused stare. He could unnerve anyone with that look. Why did he have to be so darned perceptive, noticing the slightest differences about her? He noticed everything about everyone, the tiniest details, and she needed time to think about things and come up with a plan just in case.
He reached out a long, powerful arm and gently tapped her cheek. “Not when it bothers you. You know I’m not going to let you get out of here until you tell me, so spill it.”
She rubbed the palm of her hand nervously along her jean-clad thigh. “I’ve been thinking about our situation.”
“Well, don’t,” he snapped abruptly, his rugged features hardening. His eyes glittered dangerously at her, daring her to continue the conversation.
Emma scowled at him, ignoring the chair and leaning back against the counter to regard him with troubled eyes. “I thought you wanted me to tell you what I was worried about. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it just goes away.”
A brief flash of amusement slipped through his bad temper. “Sure it does. If I tell you to quit worrying about something, it’s because I have it handled.”
She rolled her eyes. “Really, Jake? Sometimes you make me want to be a twelve-year-old and stick my finger down my throat to gag myself. Do you honestly think you can order me not to worry and I’ll just stop?”
“Sure. Have you ever known me not to handle a problem, especially one you were worried about?” He shrugged his shoulders.
Emma planted her hands on the counter behind her and lifted herself up to sit. He did take care of any problem. Even if she mentioned it casually, he immediately fixed the least little thing. He did it so smoothly she often didn’t even notice. “This isn’t that kind of thing.”
“All right. Spit it out.”
Now that she had his attention, she wished she’d let him divert the conversation. She tried to choose each word carefully. “I’ve just been thinking about the future. I’ve been drifting along without any real plan. It’s so comfortable here and I’m not really looking forward to leaving.”
Something dangerous crossed his face and she paused. He had gone very still, his lids dropping so that he’d narrowed his gaze. His eyes had gone completely golden, slipping into the absolute, single-minded concentration that she found unnerving.
“Andraya and Kyle are as close as blood siblings. They love each other and they love both of us. If you found someone you wanted—”
“Emma, this is such bullshit. You aren’t going anywhere. And I’m not finding anyone else.” He waved his hand dismissively.
“We have to think about it. We do, Jake, whether you want to face it or not. The longer the children are together, the harder it’s going to be to break them up. The thought of losing Kyle is already more than I can bear.”