“I’ll do my best.” The doctor knew better than to promise something he wasn’t certain he could deliver to a grief-stricken parent.
“Her name is Andraya Emma Bannaconni.”
“Yes, sir. The nurses will bring the paperwork.”
“I want it immediately. I want her to have an official name immediately.”
“Would you like to see her?”
Jake forced air through his lungs. “Not until Emma is safe.” He turned his back again, dismissing the man. His fingers curled, nails digging into his palm. It had been years since he felt the slice of a knife in his thigh, but he wanted to feel it now, to score another victory. His daughter was alive. Now he needed Emma to live.
He waited until he heard the doctor’s retreating footsteps before glancing over his shoulder at his lawyer and then turning back to the window, not daring to show his face while he was vulnerable. “As soon as we take care of the paperwork here, you leave and take care of the adoption. I want it filed immediately.”
“Jake, with your name on the birth certificate, she’s safe for the time being.”
Jake’s voice went low, threatening. “I want it filed today,” he repeated, “whatever it costs. And make certain the ruling is sealed and doesn’t become a media event. I mean that, John. You make certain anyone seeing those papers understands there will be severe repercussions if it comes out that I’m not her biological father.” He looked over his shoulder, pinning Stillman with a hard gaze. “I’ll make it my business to destroy them if they fuck this up. You let them know who they’re dealing with.”
Stillman stood behind him for a long time, then went to sit down, waiting for the nurse to bring the papers to fill out. He wasn’t surprised when an administrator brought the paper immediately. Jake took his time, penning neatly, making certain the child would be safe should anything happen to the mother. Stillman stayed quiet in a corner, feeling as though he couldn’t leave Jake alone, although the man so obviously wanted to be.
Jake began to pace like a dangerous animal. He felt dangerous, scattered, out of control—all things that brought the leopard close to the surface. His skin itched and his temper smoldered. He found himself angry with Emma for continuing a pregnancy that could kill her. He was angry with himself for allowing her to get close enough to him to make him feel so lost without her. He didn’t honestly know how it had happened when he’d set out to entrap her.
He rested his hand on the window, spreading his fingers wide, his throat raw, his belly in tight, protesting knots.
The glass fogged from his breath and he traced letters in the mist. Let her live. Three words. That was all. A lifetime of nothing and finally Emma. Let her live. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against the pane. He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop thinking about her, but he knew if she made it through this, he would have to distance himself enough to regain the control between them. Please, God, if you exist, let her live.
He closed his eyes and breathed deep, turning his will to find her. Emma. I won’t let you leave me. You can’t go. Do you hear me? I’m giving you an order. Hang on to life. The children need you. Kyle. Andraya.
He wouldn’t use himself as a bargaining chip. She didn’t look at him with that look. The one she reserved for Kyle. Or Andrew. That bastard Andrew, who’d had it all. We have a baby girl. A beautiful little girl. Live for her.
For me. Live for me.
Why couldn’t anyone love him? He pulled back and stared at his own reflection. Cold. Unfeeling. The eyes of a predator. Yet right then he wasn’t unfeeling. His lungs heaved and his eyes burned. The leopard leapt and roared, clawed for freedom to protect him from too much feeling.
He smelled Emma’s blood long before the doctor made his way down the hall to where he waited, his pulse pounding, afraid to move, to turn, to see the look on the man’s face.
“Mr. Bannaconni?”
“Just tell me.” Jake kept his back to the man, his shoulders stiff, his spine straight.
“Your fiancée is in recovery. We had to give her a great deal of blood, but she made it through the surgery. We’ve done our best to correct the damage that occurred at the time of the accident, so it’s possible she could carry another child sometime in the future, but she has to get through tonight. She’s weak, Mr. Bannaconni. I won’t lie to you. We aren’t out of the woods yet.”
Jake swung around, golden eyes glittering, so that the doctor sucked in his breath and stepped back a pace. “I want to see her now. Take me to her.”
“She’s in recovery. You’ll have to wait until she’s out and in her room.”
Jake’s eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. A low, warning growl rumbled in his throat. Stillman leapt up and stepped between the two men.
“I suggest, Doctor, that you take Mr. Bannaconni to his fiancée immediately. If anyone can ensure that she doesn’t die, it will be him. He won’t be in your way.” The lawyer’s voice was smooth, but left little to argue with.
The doctor reached behind him and slid his card through the mechanism to disengage the lock. “This way, sir.”
Jake followed the man to the recovery room. Emma looked small and lost, her face white, her eyes closed. There was blood in one bag and a clear liquid in another. Brenda Hacker shot him a quick, reassuring smile as she toed a chair in his direction. Jake straddled it up near Emma’s head, facing her, and settled in for a long night. He had no intentions of losing Emma at this point, and if sheer will meant anything, she would be staying right with him.
5
SEVENTEEN MONTHS LATER
“YOU keep it up, boss man, and we’re not going to have any crew left,” Drake Donovon said. He leaned forward in the saddle and spat on the ground. “You’ve always been as mean as a snake, Jake, but now you’re getting downright ugly.”