Chosen - Kiersten White Page 0,100
know what I’d pick.”
He told me it wasn’t my choice when I talked to him. That he’d rather die than hurt anyone again.
I imagine myself a hollow shell, filled with nothing but the dregs of demonic power I never asked for and can’t control. It’s easier than feeling what I’m about to say. “If we can’t get him away, we kill him.”
* * *
With the addition of the two Slayers, plus Cillian, Tsip, Jade, Rhys, Doug, and me, we end up having to take both cars. I don’t like leaving the castle without a vehicle, but it can’t be helped. It’s part of why my mother has no choice but to stay. There’s really not room with all the people and weapons we have to take.
She stops me as we head out. “Forgive her.” She doesn’t have to specify who she’s talking about.
“How can I?” I whisper. It’s not an accusation. It’s a genuine question. How can I forgive Artemis for what she’s done? How can any of us?
“She’s been through so much.”
“We went through all the same things. And I …” And I could easily have killed her, or killed Von Alston, or killed any of the cloakers. Maybe the extra darkness isn’t demonic. Maybe it’s me. Maybe Artemis has the same thing, and she’s stopped fighting it. Maybe she’s still my mirror image, just a few steps farther into a blood-soaked future.
“She’s your sister. Nothing changes that.”
“She changed it.” I shake my head. “I’ll be careful. But I’ll also do what I need to in order to protect the world. Artemis herself told me to make that choice.”
There are tears in my mother’s eyes. “I’ve failed you both.”
I don’t have time to comfort her, and I don’t know how. She already lost her husband to the evil in the world. How much more will she lose? How much more will we all? “This is what we were born to, Mom. We can’t live with one foot in the darkness forever without it catching up to us.”
“No.” Her voice is fierce, stronger. “We don’t live with one foot in the darkness. We live with our shoulders against the door, holding it shut so it doesn’t flood the world. Don’t forget that. Remind your sister, if you can. And be careful.” She hugs me, and I rest my head on her shoulder for a heartbeat. We’ve all lost so much. Too much. And it’s not over yet.
Before I can start doubting my resolve, I turn and leave. She’s wrong, though. Maybe Watchers are the ones holding the door shut. But Slayers have to walk through it in order to work.
I’m in the back of the smaller car with Doug. Cillian drives while Rhys reads certain passages of Cillian’s mother’s research to us. “According to this, he has three forms.” He pauses and looks up at Cillian. “What is your father’s name?”
Cillian shrugs. “Da.”
“What did your mother call him?”
“My love.”
“What did his friends call him?”
“Mate. Buddy. Pal. Chum. I don’t know. I actually can’t think of a single time I ever heard someone call him by a name. I was a kid, though, so maybe I didn’t notice.”
“Or maybe he doesn’t have one. Or he doesn’t have one that human voices can say. Interesting. Well, as I was saying, three forms. And when he reaches the third form, he’ll be unstoppable. But your mother doesn’t seem to know what that means, or what form he’s currently on. It’s not much help.” He hums to himself, an atonal thing he does without realizing it while he’s focusing. “I can’t find any specific weaknesses. I wonder why they call him the Sleeping One. Maybe because he only visited once a year?”
“If Jade were a god, that would be her name too,” Doug says. His voice is laced with fondness. Maybe her extreme efforts to keep him safe—even though he’s no longer supplying her with artificial happy—mended something between them.
Doug gives me a meaningful look. “And speaking of sleeping, when was the last time you did?”
I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes, certain I won’t fall asleep.
As in every other part of my life right now, I’m wrong.
* * *
“Come on!” I dodge the obsidian knife as it tries to find my stomach. “I want to talk with Buffy!”
Sineya glowers at me, the effect amplified by the white face paint she wears.
“It’s not my fault I have extra demon!” I twist, then run. I find myself in my childhood bedroom,