It was not his fate to be happy. It was his fate to save his clan, no matter what it cost him.
* * *
The moon was full.
Ilysa pulled her hood over her head, carefully closed her door without a sound, and slipped down the stairs. Outside the hall, she paused to listen. When she was certain she heard nothing but snoring men, she tiptoed into the hall. The hearth fire cast a dim, eerie light over the slumbering bodies on the floor and benches. Ilysa skirted the edge of the room, staying in the shadows.
Connor would never agree to let her go if he knew, and she did not want an escort. She must do this alone. With a glance over her shoulder to reassure herself that she had awakened no one, she eased the heavy door open just far enough to slide through and closed it softly behind her.
"There is an ill child who needs me," she told the guard at the gate, and he gave her no trouble, despite Connor's order. Men simply did not see a threat when they looked at her. Besides that, everyone knew she had Connor's trust.
Before she left to marry MacNeil, she would do everything she could to safeguard Connor. Tonight, she was making her second and last trip to the faery hills to cast her protective spells for him.
* * *
Connor looked up to see Sorely in the doorway to his chamber. Judging from the dwindling candlelight on his table, it was near midnight.
"You're not going to like this," Sorely said.
There was nothing Sorely could tell him that would be worse than the news that Ilysa was leaving. But it must be serious for Sorely to brave the ghost. He nodded for Sorely to come in.
"I've found our spy," Sorely said.
"No matter who our traitor is, 'tis better to know." He hoped it wasn't Lachlan. Despite his jealousy, he liked the man, and Lachlan was his best warrior. And odd as it seemed, he felt a connection between them because of the shared brother they had lost. "Who is it?"
Instead of answering, Sorely shuffled his feet and looked distinctly uncomfortable. If he had proof that Lachlan was Hugh's man, Connor would have expected him to be gleeful. Perhaps he had not given Sorely sufficient respect.
"Damn it, tell me," he said, but still Sorely did not answer. Connor had lost all patience with him when he finally spoke.
"Ilysa."
Chapter 35
Ilysa?" Connor felt the blood drain from his head. "What about Ilysa?"
"I saw her sneak out of the castle a short time ago," Sorely said.
"She's a healer," Connor said. "I'm sure she's helping one of the farmer's wives deliver a babe or some such."
"When she does that, someone always comes asking for her first," Sorely said. "No one came. She stole out like a thief in the night."
Connor knew Ilysa was no spy for Hugh. The suggestion was ridiculous. But where was she going in the middle of the night if no one had come seeking a healer?
Can Ilysa be meeting a man? The thought struck him like a blade to his heart. No, she would not do that, not so soon after they had been together.
He hated himself for thinking it. But now that the idea took hold, he could not shake it. A lass like Ilysa needed a lover. After Connor had uncovered her passionate nature buried beneath her layers of calm control, he hated the idea of her sharing it with another man.
"You're certain it was her?" he asked.
"Aye," Sorely said, looking mournful. "I've seen her go before."
Had she found another man while they were still lovers? Could that be the reason she was able to turn her back on him so utterly?
"Ye gave a clear command that no one was to leave without your permission," Sorely said, lifting one shoulder.
"I'm sure there's an innocent reason." He hoped to God there was. "She probably woke up worrying about some child she saw days ago with a fever."
Ilysa would not want to hurt his pride. If she were meeting a man for a liaison, she would not do it here in the castle where he was certain to find out. She was nothing if not considerate.
"Perhaps we should follow her?" Sorely suggested. "That would answer it."
Sorely was a fool to suspect Ilysa was their traitor. If she was meeting a man tonight, Connor did not want anyone to discover it but him.