"I'll get ready and come downstairs with ye," she said, though she knew what he would say.
"'Tis best if we aren't seen coming into the hall together," he said.
This pretense that he insisted upon was the only mar to her happiness. "Are ye ashamed of me?" she asked.
"Ashamed?" Connor took her by the shoulders and leaned back to look into her face. "Why would ye ask that?"
"What else am I to think when ye don't want anyone to know I sleep here?"
"I do it to protect you," he said. "I'm ashamed that I've taken advantage of ye, but I could never be ashamed of you."
"Protect me from what?" she asked. "You're not the first chieftain to keep a woman without making her a wife, and 'tis usually considered an honor for the lass."
"An honor? Hmmph." The happiness seemed to drain from him. With gentle fingers, he brushed a loose strand back from her face. "I don't want them talking about ye."
"I love ye," she said as she flung her arms around him and held him fiercely. "I don't care who knows it."
"I wish ye could be my wife," he said, regret dragging at his voice.
That he wished it was more than Ilysa had ever hoped for.
She told herself it was enough.
* * *
How Connor dreaded his marriage. He held Ilysa's lithe body against his and closed his eyes as he breathed in the scent of her hair, wanting this moment to last forever. He should not have told her he wished he could marry her. What value was there in a wish he was not free to follow?
He should have heard from the MacIain by now if he was coming with his warriors - and his granddaughter. It was traitorous for Connor to hope that the MacIains would not come, and foolish as well, for his reprieve would be temporary. Connor would just have to make a different marriage alliance.
Without help, the chances of the MacDonalds prevailing against the larger forces of the MacLeods were slim to none. Alastair MacLeod was a formidable chieftain who had led his warriors for nearly forty years. He was unlikely to make mistakes.
Connor cupped the side of Ilysa's face and ran his thumb across her bottom lip. No matter how little time the reprieve bought him, he wanted it.
"Come back to bed with me," he said. "I need ye."
Chapter 29
Ilysa was passing through the hall on her way to the kitchens to speak to Cook about supplies when she saw Lachlan. He stood alone, leaning against the wall next to the door that led outside. The other men respected Lachlan, but he mostly kept to himself.
When she met his gaze, Lachlan jerked his head to the side, then went out the door without a backward glance. Exasperated, she followed him outside and caught up with him between the buildings by the well.
"If ye wish to speak to me, Lachlan of Lealt," she said, putting her hand on her hip, "ask me politely."
He gave her his bored look with his eyelids half closed, but the corner of his mouth quirked up, giving away his amusement. "Ye came, didn't ye?"
Ilysa rolled her eyes, but she smiled, despite herself. "Now that you've dragged me away from my tasks, what is it ye want?"
"I've had no luck discovering who in the castle is spying for Hugh," he said. "Have you?"
"I thought I had it figured out - until ye told me it wasn't you," she said.
"I'll be leaving in the morning for a few days," Lachlan said, ignoring her remark. "The chieftain wants me to see if I can find out where Hugh's new camp is. I may hear something about this spy as well."
"I'll keep my eye out for clues here," she said.
"That's why I'm talking to ye," Lachlan said. "Don't try to uncover the spy on your own."
"I can't help looking," she said and gave him a pleasant smile.
"Don't," Lachlan said. "You're a bright lass, and ye might guess right. If the spy realizes it, you'll be in danger."
"I appreciate your concern," Ilysa said, which was what she always said when men felt compelled to give her orders she did not intend to follow. She rose up on her tiptoes and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You be careful out there, Lachlan."
A short time later, Ilysa was enjoying a chat with Cook amid the clatter of pans and the savory smells of the midday meal preparation. She took the opportunity to