with him in his chamber many times before, men looked at her differently now. Connor should not even have closed the door.
After throwing on his clothes, he put his arm around Ilysa's shoulders to help her from the bed. Another wave of guilt swamped him when he saw the swath of blood marring the perfect whiteness of her thigh.
"Wait here," he said and brought her a wet cloth.
After she wiped off the blood, he lifted her to the floor and helped her straighten her gown. Again, Connor wondered how much time had passed and if the guards had heard anything that would make them suspect what had happened.
What had happened here? He wished he knew. She had not answered his question about how she could still be a virgin or why she had deliberately not told him, but now was not the time to press her.
When he put his arm around her and started toward the door, Ilysa's legs wobbled. Connor swallowed, remembering how hard he had thrust into her.
"I'm so sorry, Ilysa," he said.
She stared straight ahead, her expression fixed, and he knew she was trying not to weep.
Her first time should have been gentle and loving. God help him, in his rush to have her, he hadn't even taken off her clothes. Of all that he had done wrong, taking her like that was his biggest regret.
* * *
As soon as Ilysa barred her door, she leaned against it and sank to the floor. If only Connor had not ruined it all by regretting it as soon as it was over. She covered her face. For a short time, Connor had wanted her with a fevered passion that was far beyond anything she had imagined or hoped for.
And she had imagined it countless times and hoped for it every single day since he returned from France.
Yet she had never guessed how amazing it would be. When he pulled her into his arms, she felt overwhelmed at first - by the sheer size of him, the press of his hard-muscled chest, and the force of his desire. But when he lost himself, kissing her as if he would die if he could not have her, it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. Everywhere he touched her, he set off magical sparks. Her skin still tingled, and she ached inside with her need for him.
She had known he might be disappointed, or even angry, afterward, but she hadn't cared. It hurt when he took her virginity, but she hadn't care about that, either.
Their joining engendered such an intense feeling of oneness that she could have wept for joy. When he tried to break away at once, she simply could not bear it. She locked her legs around him and dug her fingers into his arms, refusing to let him go. She had been right to fear that once she released him, she might never hold him again.
When Connor began moving inside her again, she felt sore. At the same time, unexpected sensations spread through her like rings from a rock thrown in a pond. In those precious moments while they were joined, Connor was utterly and completely hers. His burdens were forgotten, the needs of the clan set aside, and there was nothing but the two of them. Her heart soared as he cried out and they were one in a glorious passion.
And then Connor rolled off her. Dear God, what have I done?
How could he say that after the extraordinary thing that had just occurred between them? Perhaps it was only extraordinary to her. Or was making love always like that for him? The question flitted across her mind, but she could not let herself think of Connor with anyone else.
Ilysa did not know how she could bear to face him tomorrow and see the regret in his eyes. Who knew where he got his sense of honor? Not from his parents. Regardless, it ran deep, and he had gone against it.
As for Ilysa, she loved Connor - with every breath and every heartbeat. Nothing could ever persuade her that what she had done was wrong.
* * *
Lachlan had left the castle immediately after the practice with Connor and was at his sister's before nightfall. Flora's busy household was overflowing with children, and he was surrounded as soon as he crossed the threshold. After pulling pigtails and tossing his nephews and nieces into the air, Lachlan waded through the chaos to his sister.