CHERUB: Class A - Robert Muchamore Page 0,49

office and say hello.’
Keith left with his minder like he was in a hurry. James looked at Kelvin, who was shaking his head in disbelief.
‘I’m gonna have to treat you two right,’ Kelvin said. ‘With Keith singing your praises, I might just end up calling one of you boss some day.’
19. THIRTEEN
Friday before school, Kerry knocked on the boys’ bedroom door.
‘Are you decent in there?’
‘I’m still in bed,’ James groaned, sounding knackered. ‘Come in if you want.’
He’d been up until nearly midnight having a Playstation competition with Kyle and a couple of Thornton kids. Kerry came through the door with Joshua in her arms and dumped him on James’ bed.
‘He wanted to wish you Happy Birthday,’ she said.
James pulled his duvet over his face. Joshua tugged it back and giggled when James made a loud quacking noise.
‘How come you didn’t scream your head off when Kerry picked you up?’ James asked.
‘I think he’s finally got used to me,’ Kerry smiled. ‘Can I leave him here while I get my books ready for school?’
Kerry went out. Joshua crawled up the bed and burrowed under a loose pillow near James’ face. James moved in to blow a raspberry on Joshua’s arm, but as he got close he recoiled from a powerful smell.
‘Jeeeeeeesus,’ James shouted, covering his nose with his arm. ‘You smelly little …’
James jumped out of bed and picked up Joshua, holding him out at arm’s length. He walked into the hallway, where Kerry and Nicole were wetting themselves laughing.
‘I wondered when you’d smell it,’ Kerry said.
‘You’re evil,’ James grinned. ‘I’ll get you two for this.’
James carried Joshua downstairs to the kitchen. Zara was cooking a pan of sausages.
‘Morning, teenager,’ Zara said. ‘There’s presents and stuff on the table.’
‘This little monster filled his nappy,’ James said.
Zara grinned. ‘You know where the changing table is, James.’
‘Yes, I do, but you’re not getting me anywhere near it.’
‘Think of it as a learning experience,’ Zara said. ‘An introduction to life as a young adult.’
James knew Zara wasn’t serious.
‘Actually,’ he said, ‘a better introduction to young adulthood would be a crate of beer and some hot chicks.’
Zara smiled. ‘I don’t think so, somehow.’
Ewart walked in behind James.
‘You want to be careful,’ Ewart said, taking Joshua out of James’ arms. ‘You start off with the hot chicks and before you know it you’re leaning over a changing table with one of these little beasts peeing on you.’
Ewart tickled his son’s belly before taking him outside for a nappy change.
James sat at the table and started ripping into his cards. Because cherubs never have family, except brothers and sisters, they make a point of exchanging cards, even when they’re away on missions. James had over thirty, including some with foreign postmarks redirected from campus. Gabrielle had sent one from South Africa. James’ old training pals Callum and Connor had posted one from Texas and Amy had sent a postcard with a picture of a giant pineapple on it from Australia. The tackiest-looking card was from Lauren.
‘Here, Zara,’ James laughed. ‘Listen to what Lauren wrote. Dearest brother, you are an idiot. Sometimes you make me puke. I’ll be in training by the time you read this and I wish you were doing it instead of me. PS Happy thirteenth birthday, I love U. Then she’s done a row of kisses.’
James left opening his presents until Kyle and the girls had come down. The biggest box was from Ewart and Zara: a replacement for his stolen trainers. Nicole and Kerry had clubbed together and bought him a T-shirt he’d looked at the last time they went to the Reeve Centre. He got a kiss from each of them when he said thanks. Kyle got him a pack of trendy men’s toiletries. It included shampoo, conditioner and a little bottle of aftershave. The label read, Please use these regularly.
‘This is all cool,’ James grinned. ‘Cheers.’
He put his goodies aside and grabbed a sausage sandwich from the plate in the middle of the table. His mind wandered back a year to his twelfth birthday, just after his mum had died. He’d been living in a council home and wasn’t allowed to see Lauren. It had been about the most desperate day of his life.
Then he thought about other birthdays, back when his mum was alive. Charging down the stairs to stacks of shoplifted toys and clothes, then racing to unwrap everything before school. When Lauren was tiny, she’d had to have a present as well, or she’d chuck a jealous fit.
Thinking