way he covered it entirely. He leaned back, his boots planted against the floor, and he crossed his muscular arms over his chest, his hood covering most of his face, but some of his chin was visible because of the light.
“Then you can go.”
He didn’t move.
I pulled the tray to me and ate, because I didn’t want it to get cold before I enjoyed it. Food was one of the few things I had to look forward to, and their meals were actually pretty good. They purposely made us nutritional meals so we could work harder and pack their coke. I bit into a piece of garlic bread and kept my eyes down on my plate.
“You did good this week.”
Since all I wanted to do was snap back, I didn’t say anything.
“I thought it would take longer, honestly.”
I held my tongue and continued to eat. Being defiant wouldn’t get me anywhere, would only bring me closer to death, and even fighting my guard wouldn’t do me any favors. My focus should be on escaping, getting information to do that, and then solidifying a plan—and getting to my sister. “You said good behavior is rewarded.”
“It is.” A deep voice came from the hood, his chin moving slightly as he spoke. There was a shadow across his jaw, over his chin before it disappeared under the hood. His skin was fair, the limited amount I could see. “You want a book? Coke?”
Did women actually ask for that? A book would be nice, something to distract my thoughts while I was stuck in this cabin waiting for the sun to rise the next morning. We worked until dark, so there were several hours before bed that needed to be wasted. “I want my sister.” I abandoned my dinner and looked at him, even though I’d never be able to see those eyes, to see the reactions I relied on when conversing with another person.
He was still, so quiet it seemed like he didn’t hear a word I said.
“I want us to be in the same cabin.” I wanted to assuage her fears, to promise her that I would get her out of here, that there was so much left to live for…and we had to keep going. I knew her so well, and I imagined she was crying herself to sleep at night, overwhelmed with the guilt that she carried on those small shoulders.
He shook his head. “Simple behaviors earn simple rewards. If that’s something you really want, it’s going to take a lot more than obedience.”
“Then what’s it going to take?”
He wasn’t wearing gloves like he did during the day, so his large hands were visible, covered in veins, the skin slightly cracked because the winter air dried out his skin. He rubbed his thumb into his palm. “Build up to it. Start small.”
I didn’t want to start small. “The only thing I want is my sister. I don’t care about a book or music.”
His hood shifted up slightly, like he’d stopped looking at his hands. “I know what you’re doing. I strongly advise that you don’t.”
“I just want—”
“You can’t escape. You’re going to get yourself killed. Your sister too. I know your life doesn’t mean much to you, but can you live after seeing your sister hang, her dripping blood turning the snow red?”
The image came into my mind and immediately made me sick.
“You can make a life here. It’s not the life you wanted, but you can appreciate the little things that bring you some joy. You work all day, just like normal people, and then you go home to a warm bed with books by your bed and crumbs in your sheets from the items that you earned.”
This brainwashing attempt no doubt worked on other people, but it wouldn’t work on me. They poisoned minds into accepting their conditions, into accepting the loss of freedom, to make them believe they should strive for approval, to work harder to earn the life that shouldn’t be dictated by someone else in the first place. “This bullshit might work on the others, but it won’t work on me. I know I deserve freedom, I know I deserve more, and these late-night talks and veiled kindness won’t change what I know in my heart to be true. Years could pass, and it wouldn’t change anything. But I don’t expect to be here that long…so it doesn’t matter.”
He was still as he stared, his reaction impossible to decipher without a face. He could have