out to hurt her. I thought I’d be able to wear her down, and she’d eventually agree to that date with me. Now, I just feel like an idiot. Did she laugh behind my back when I asked her out on those dates? Did she think I was a fool? Because I sure as hell feel like one.
And then there’s my daughter. The fact that I’m even repeating that sentence and it’s factual is…insane. I have a daughter—the most beautiful little girl and she already has my heart beating solely for her. Even though I’d met Luna before, it was different earlier today at Gavin’s place. I spent time with her as my child. She is mine. Mine to love, mine to protect, mine to care for. I tried not to think about all the parties I had already missed. All her firsts I’d never be able to get back. There is nothing I can do about that now.
I’ve made a promise to myself that I’ll be there for every first from here on out. There isn’t a chance in hell I am missing out on anything else in my daughter’s life.
I missed watching her take her first steps and say her first words. I didn’t know if she cried a lot when she was baby or if she was always so calm like my niece was. Something tells me, though, that calm isn’t in Luna’s vocabulary. She has spunk and sass in spades, and I find her to be the funniest little thing on the planet. She’s mad gorgeous. I see so many parts of myself in her, but I also see so much of Selene, too, when I look at her now.
“How are you holding up?” Bishop asks, setting a beer down in front of me. My mouth waters, but after the recent knowledge that I created a child while intoxicated, I don’t think the best thing for me to be doing tonight is drinking.
I finally told the guys everything after I left Selene’s place earlier. Though, I’m sure most of them got the gist of what was going on when I yelled at her the day prior. It was hard to miss. I didn’t mean to yell or lose my temper with her. It was wrong, especially taking the risk of Luna seeing, but something inside me snapped. I had zero control over my emotions at that moment.
“Honestly, I still don’t know how to feel.”
Bishop sighs, plopping down next to me. “You really don’t remember?”
My mouth twists into a grimace. “No. Not really. When I saw Selene, there was a spark of a memory, but I chalked it up to a vivid dream. Because I couldn’t remember that happening. I can’t believe that…”
“This would be just your luck. You have sex with one of the hottest girls in town, and you don’t even remember it. And on top of that, you get her pregnant.”
I laugh darkly. “Right? I kept wondering why I felt so drawn to her. She’s beautiful, that’s obvious, but it was something else. She felt so familiar to me. She was easy to be around.”
“Does this change things for you?”
I pause, thinking. “I don’t know. All I know is, I want to get to know my daughter.”
My daughter is my only concern right now. Once I figure things out with her, then I’ll deal with Selene.
“The lawyers. Were you serious about that?”
“Shouldn’t I be? I’d be stupid not to set something in motion, wouldn’t I?”
Bishop shrugs, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “She seems to be agreeable, but I see what you’re saying. Do what you gotta do, man. Make the best of a shitty situation.”
“I don’t want to disrupt Luna’s life. Obviously, Selene and her family are all she knows, but I don’t want to miss any more time with her.”
“Then don’t.”
“Easier said than done.” I sigh. “I’m heading over tomorrow morning to spend the day with Luna. I swear, time with her flies by, and I can’t get enough of it. Enough of her laughter, and everything that makes her the little person she is.”
“Soak it in, my friend. I know you’ve missed some years, but that’s not her whole life. There are still so many firsts you’ll get to experience,” Bishop reassures, clapping me on the back.
“Thanks, man.”
“Can I just say how jealous I am that you get claiming rights on Selene now? If she didn’t fall for your pitiful flower bullshit, I would’ve asked her on a real date.”