of shorts and a loose V-neck. With my heart pounding violently and butterflies roaring in my belly at the thought of seeing him again, I raise my hand to ring the doorbell. My eyes widen when the door suddenly swings open, and there, in all his handsome glory, is Endymion. His brows pull down when he sees me.
“Hey?” He walks out, shutting and locking the door behind him. I tuck loose strands of hair behind my ear, shifting on my feet. I can already feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I think about last night. My stomach clenches at the memory.
“Hey, you. I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing after last night.”
If possible, the crease between his brows deepens, and he comes up short, his footsteps faltering.
“Riiight.” He nods, rubbing at the back of his neck. It’s such a boyish mannerism that it makes my stomach flip. “You’re, uh…it’s Selene, right?”
The smile that was on my face slowly tapers off. A sinking feeling enters my stomach, leaving the hairs at the back of my nape standing at attention. “Yeah,” I reply cautiously, a frown now marring my features. “I’m sorry. Am I missing something here—”
“Endy!” Holly singsongs, grabbing our attention. “Are you ready to go? I start my shift in thirty.”
That sinking feeling turns into a pit that I feel taking over, swallowing me from the inside out.
“Hey, kid, look, I gotta give Holly a ride, then head to work, but, um, I guess I’ll see you around? Talk to you later?”
Pain slices through my chest, creeping into the center, making it hard to breathe. I nod jerkily, fighting back tears as I watch him head toward his truck. My chin quivers, and I bite my bottom lip until all I feel is burning pain. Anything to hold back the tears that are so close to falling. Holly tugs on the back of his shirt as he passes her, bringing him closer, and plants a kiss on his lips. That crater in my chest grows when he pulls back, chuckling down at her like she’s his whole world.
“What happened to you last night? I thought we were going to hang out.”
End shakes his head as he makes his way around his truck. “I got so fucking drunk that I blacked out. I don’t remember a damn thing.”
My heart shatters at his words.
Right there on his porch, I feel the walls close in on me. White noise fills my ears. A cold slicing ache spears into my chest. It shoots down the center, making everything tight and hard to breathe. A dark tunnel swims and ebbs, threatening to pull me under just as my lungs squeeze as though in duress.
End glances back at me one final time as they climb into the truck, that crease between his brows ever-present.
They drive off, and I finally let the floodgates free. I stumble off Endymion’s porch with tears streaming down my cheeks. My vision is so blurred by tears that I end up tripping on the sidewalk and scraping my knees, but my heart is in so much pain that my body doesn’t process the burning from the ripped flesh. There’s a gaping hole in my chest where the organ should be.
So I lost my virginity to the man I’ve loved through my adolescent years, and he was so drunk that he doesn’t remember any of it. He doesn’t remember the moment we shared. He doesn’t remember taking my virginity. Hell, he doesn’t remember me at all.
He doesn’t remember.
I place a trembling hand over my stomach to settle the sudden bout of nausea I feel. How could I be so stupid? How could I not notice? I internally berate myself for my stupidity.
Was I so blinded by my own lust for him that I didn’t realize he’d been drinking? He tasted like mint, not alcohol. How could I be so foolish?
I’m not even surprised that when I walk into my house with tears streaming down my face, my parents are too busy arguing about money and my college funds to notice. I slink into my room and crawl into bed, my body wracking with sobs. All for the brokenhearted, foolish girl who gave herself to a man who doesn’t even remember. A man who doesn’t even know she exists. I gave Endymion my heart when I was eleven years old, and all he’s done in the seven years since then is break it.