press together in a grim line. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Endymion grunts irritably. “Jesus, Selene. Nothing happened. I don’t want Holly. I’ve told you that already. I just want you. I shouldn’t feel anything for you at all, after everything you’ve done, but I do. I can’t stop thinking about that goddamn night at the creek all those years ago, and what a fucking idiot I was for letting you go—for letting you slip through my fingers. I can’t stop feeling when I’m near you, and that’s the fucking problem.”
My chest tightens with emotion, drawing a tear out of the corner of my eye. “I don’t want to do this. I can’t. I meant what I said about Luna. We can figure something out. Visits. Splitting the time between us, but…I don’t want this, Endymion. I’ve had my heart broken by you once and barely survived. I won’t be able to do it again.”
A barrage of emotions slams into me at what I just let slip. I’ve told him too much. I need to leave before I make an even bigger fool of myself.
“In everything that has happened since that night, I don’t think I’ve told you the one thing that really matters, Selene. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that night. I’m sorry for leaving you and Luna. And I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. The very last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
Pain spears through my chest. It’s hot and cold as it spreads, like a disease, or an infection of some sort. This is everything I’ve always wanted to hear. He’s saying all the right things, but why does it still hurt so much?
Pushing to my feet, I try to put some distance between us, so I can think clearly. Why does he have to be so goddamn consuming?
He’s silent, offering me time to gather my thoughts. There’s only one thing keeping me from falling back into him. I know it deep within my soul. It’s fear. I’ve had my heart broken by this man, and now that Luna is in both of our lives, I can’t let that happen again. I won’t.
I turn to face him, and that hopeful look there, the look of understanding in his eyes absolutely shatters me.
“I can’t do this, End. I’m sorry.” A tear slips out of the corner of my eye, and I leave him. I don’t bother looking back because I know if I do, I’ll crumble.
When I get back home, I’m surprised when I find my dad seated on the front porch, waiting for me. My brows furrow as I take the spot next to him, worry tightening my gut.
“What are you doing out here? Is everything okay?”
He jerks his chin toward the setting sun. The sunset casts rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and pinks. “Just getting some fresh air. Trying to see what you like so much about sitting out at the creek, staring up at the sky for answers.”
I smile tiredly. “It’s peaceful. And believe it or not, I actually went to the falls today. It made me think of you.”
My dad is silent for some time. It’s so long that it prompts me to cast a glance his way, realizing something is on his mind.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”
“Okay, shoot.” I try to tamp down the sadness of today and focus on my dad instead. I might be emotionally spent, but I’ll make time for him. When he shifts toward me, meeting my gaze, my stomach drops at the look shining there in his eyes. I’ve never seen my dad cry. Never seen him get teary-eyed or emotional, and seeing it now unsettles me. My lungs squeeze as though in duress, and my heart begins racing in my chest. The skin of my palms is slick with sweat.
“What’s happening?” I whisper.
My dad tries to smile to put me at ease, but it’s wobbly, and he ends up sobbing instead. The sound tears from his chest, shocking me into silence. He drops his head, and I watch as my father breaks down in front of me, right here on the porch. My chest caves with pain, and my heart crumbles. I know what he’s going to say before he even says it. I feel it. And I feel like my world is shattering because of it.
He gathers himself. His next words steal the breath from my lungs. “I’m dying, Selene.”