And this time, that “thing” is Cassian, and my terror is so quick and sudden that I feel ill.
The silence implodes like a bomb detonating when the large man whirls on me, acid spewing from his eyes.
“I know it was you!” he all but growls, his tone acerbic, almost bitter. “I know you turned in that fucking video!”
I want to cower in submission, demand his forgiveness, but I lock those thoughts in a steel box and throw away the fucking key. I think a part of me will always be terrified of the Devils, always fear their retaliation and retribution. I know that they grew up, as have I, but the little girl inside of me keeps expecting them to cut off my hair or laugh at me or chase me through the streets at night. That fear lives in the pit of my stomach, mildly uncomfortable but no longer agonizingly painful.
And at the same time, I want to hug him. Comfort him. Soothe away his fears as he leans on me for support. I want to kiss his soft lips and run my fingers over top of his buzzed black hair.
I don’t have time to look at the plethora of emotions waging a way inside of me, not when Cassian looks seconds away from either ripping my head off…or kissing me senseless.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whisper, but that’s not the right thing to say. If there’s something Cassian hates more than anything, it’s liars.
As his eyes narrow into unforgiving slits, I feel myself drift away into another memory.
“Not until you submit.” Lucas took a menacing step forward. “Not until you know that we don’t accept freaks in our town.”
Cassian and Karsyn broke into laughter, while Elias merely looked annoyed. He rolled his violet-tinted eyes as he nodded towards the exit.
“Can we go? I don’t want to stay in her presence longer than necessary.”
His words felt like a dagger being embedded into my heart. I always knew that they hated me, but hearing their complete disdain spoken out loud was an entirely different matter.
“You just want to finish your goddamn Die Hard movie,” Lucas responded dryly, and Elias flashed him a tight-lipped smile.
“You know me too well, brother.”
They continued bickering as they exited the locker room, but their words weren’t able to penetrate my brain. I could hear them, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying.
How long were they going to keep me in here?
I knew that Mom wouldn’t notice if I didn’t come home. She never did. I could be gone for weeks, and so long as it didn’t disrupt her routine, she wouldn’t bat an eye. Would I be here for hours? Days? Weeks?
“Please,” I whimpered, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. “Please don’t leave me alone.”
A muffled voice reached my ears, and I perked up, listening. “I forgot something. I’ll be right back.”
The door to the locker room opened, and Cassian stepped inside, lips straightened into a grim line. He glanced around the congested, pungent-smelling space before shouting, “Found it!” I watched in rapt fascination as he stalked back outside…only this time, he didn’t shut the door behind him.
Was it intentional? A mistake? Why did he tell the others he left something when he truly didn’t? Was it a trap? Did he plan to lie in wait with the others until I made my escape? Why did he leave the door open?
Not one to look a gifted horse in the mouth, I waited until I heard their van pull away before scrambling to my feet and running outside. The cool, bitter wind whipped at my hair as I ran and ran and ran, desperate to escape my demons, both literally and figuratively.
The next day, the Devils gave Cassian hell for not locking the door behind him. Called him a fucktard and an idiot.
But as they passed me in the hall, I could’ve sworn that he made eye contact with me and gave me a subtle nod, almost as if he had done it on purpose.
Almost as if he was my guardian angel.
I’m pulled out of my memories when Cassian takes a step closer, hands balled into fists and chest heaving with every ragged breath he takes.
“You fucked up my life!” he bellows, before he seems to remember that we’re still at school and could be interrupted at any fucking moment. He glances at the closed classroom door, takes a deep breath,