my tongue out at him, but he captures it between his teeth, tugging on it gently.
“Is that an offer?” he asks with a wicked smirk, bringing his lips to the valley between my breasts and giving me a raspberry.
“You’re such a fucking dork.” I attempt to pull his head back up, but he begins planting teasing kisses along the arch of first one breast and then the next. His finger idly traces around my nipple.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you have the most perfect tits?” His breath whispers against my skin, and I shiver, my nipples pebbling even further. He chastely kisses the beaded tip of my right breast, before freezing. “Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want anyone seeing or talking about your tits but me.” There’s a surge of possessiveness in his voice, and it causes my blood to sizzle. But his words quell the flames inside of my core, the smile disappearing from my face. Karsyn freezes, his lips on my areola, but allows me to gather my thoughts.
“Karsyn, there’s something I need to tell you.”
He sits up completely, hovering over me with worry etched onto his face.
“Was this a mistake?” he asks, voice aghast.
“No!” I rush to reassure him. “I mean, I don’t know.” I rub both of my hands down my cheeks. “I…I had sex with Elias.” There. Better to rip the bandage off than force them both to suffer. “Last night.”
The sheer reality of what I just did drowns me under a twenty-foot wave. How can I have sex with two different men in a span of a day? Both of them my tormentors? Does this make me a slut? All of their words from five years ago come rushing back to me, and I feel sick to my stomach.
“Hey.” Karsyn throws his body over mine, holding himself on his elbows so he can peer down at me. I can feel the tears in my eyes and on my cheeks, but I don’t lift a hand to brush them away. “I can see where your mind is going, and I’m gonna need you to fucking stop.”
“Karsyn…”
“Shut the fuck up, Simone, and listen.” He kisses me savagely on the lips before pulling back and capturing both of my wrists. “It’s okay. I’m not mad that you had sex with Elias.” He grimaces slightly, as if saying those words leaves a sour taste in his mouth, but he continues on doggedly. “It’s what we deserve, after all. What I deserve.”
“I don’t understand…”
“I want you all to myself.” He lowers his face to my neck and begins to nuzzle against the skin there. “I want you more than I ever wanted or needed anything in my life. But I know I need to pay for my sins, and maybe this is the way. Maybe I can’t be selfish with you.”
I tug on his hair until he’s forced to look at me, searching his expressive hazel eyes for the truth I can hear in his words. “You’re giving me up?” Why does that thought gut me? Why does it leave me feeling hollow and empty, like I’m made of nothing but skin and bones?
“Fuck no! And if you would let me talk…” He quirks a brow, waiting to see if I’ll comply, and I squeeze my lips shut and nod for him to continue. He offers me a strained smile, but sadness pollutes it, along with an acceptance that steals the last drop of warmth from my body. “I don’t want to give you up. But I also know I don’t deserve to keep you. If that means I have to share you with one of my oldest friends…”
This time, his words send a surge of anger through me, and I shove at his chest.
“So what? I’ll just be a whore for you and your friends to pass around? Just like you used to imply when we were younger?” I demand, my anger growing from a mere spark to an entire forest fire. “Fuck you.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Karsyn hisses, continuing to kiss the nape of my neck. “This isn’t just about sex.”
“Then what is it about?” Despite the anger in my voice, my body betrays me and begins to grow wet.
“It’s about you and our feelings for you. There’s no denying that I want you, and now we know that Elias does too. You know what polyamorous relationships are, don’t you?”
“Open relationships?” I ask, trying to picture Karsyn with other girls