Charmed: A Masters and Mercenar - Lexi Blake Page 0,1
have to deal with Big Tag tomorrow. That requires all my faculties.”
Sandra’s face softened. “Big Tag is the easiest person in the world to deal with if you don’t mind a little sarcasm. Honestly, he’s the single most tolerant human being I’ve ever met.”
“Are we talking about the same person?”
Sandra grinned. “Oh, he’ll call out dumbassery wherever he sees it, but there’s a kindness to the man if you look for it. Most of the things he does are because he gives a damn. Look, I think I know where you are.”
“Dallas.” She could be sarcastic, too, and she rather wanted to avoid this particular talk. One of the things she liked about Sandra was she kept things light.
But wasn’t that what she’d wanted for years? Keep things light so she didn’t have to get hurt again. Shallow friendships she didn’t have to be honest about, didn’t have to admit her flaws and mistakes because they were all about having a laugh.
Sandra ignored her. “My husband left me for a younger woman when Roni was five years old. I wasn’t woman enough for him. His words, not mine. To him a woman was soft and feminine in a very traditional sense. Feminine to him meant wearing pretty clothes and ensuring his comfort and making him feel like a man because he wasn’t strong enough to be one on his own. I made a mistake when I married him. I wouldn’t take it back because I got two amazing kids out of the asshole, but he wasn’t good enough for me. Now since then I’ve come to realize I’m good at being me. I like myself. I like being on my own. I don’t think I’ll ever get remarried, but I’m going to have a lot of fun before I go out. Sweetie, you aren’t having fun.”
“I wasn’t married to him.” To Roger.
“He still cost you a lot.”
He’d cost her everything, including her self-esteem. “It was my fault. I was an Interpol agent and I didn’t see that my partner, the man I was sleeping with, was working for the enemy, was using my work to help out his real boss.”
And now that she was a year away from the fact, she could see how he’d distracted her. He’d used her own need-to-please nature against her.
Sandra sighed and put a hand on her arm. “No. That’s where you’re wrong. It wasn’t your fault. You got used. You went into a relationship with all the right intentions. He was an asshole. Don’t let him ruin the rest of your life. We’re going to a beautiful tropical island soon. Think about finding some pleasure in it.”
“I’m working. I’m there to find a corporate spy, not a shag.”
“I don’t see why you can’t do both. As far as I can tell everyone else on the team has. It’s kind of a thing they do,” Sandra said, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “And I’ve seen some of the guys and ladies on staff. They are hot. You should consider it. I know I’m going to. I’ve got my eye on one of the bartenders. All of twenty-four. I can teach that boy something. But first, I’ve got a date.”
Sandra hopped off her barstool.
It was easy to see her friend was making the most of her time now that her daughter and granddaughter were happily ensconced in their new home in Wyoming. Sandra had spent years protecting them after she’d lost her oldest child to a killer. She deserved every moment of pleasure she could get. Sandra had done everything right.
But she herself hadn’t, had she? That was why she no longer trusted herself to do anything that wasn’t on a rigid schedule. She made decisions based on a matrix she studied over and over to ensure she wasn’t stepping out of line again.
She stopped. “I really am punishing myself, aren’t I?”
Sandra slapped her on the shoulder. “Yes. You totally are punishing yourself, and that means the asshole wins. You know how he loses? If you have wicked-hot revenge sex. Not hate sex. Hate sex is something you would do with him, and then he gets to have an orgasm. No. you need revenge sex. Find someone hot and do him or her hard. Do that person until your eyes roll to the back of your head and you can’t remember your name anymore. That kind of banging. Hey, there are actually a couple of really hot guys on the Dallas team. There’s this