Charlie St. Cloud Page 0,53
at the picnic table in the clearing. She was trying to hold herself together. Crazy, random thoughts were flooding her brain. She didn’t want to unravel in front of them. But little by little, the reality of it all was locking into her consciousness.
Life was over.
As she felt the bump on her head, she began to have flashes of what had really happened the night of the storm. The images struck her in fragments. She didn’t have the whole picture yet, but she could see the waves overtaking her and the world going black.
Deep down, she glimpsed what death meant. . . .
She would never race solo around the world.
She would never sail the Strait of Malacca or the Sulu Sea.
She would never see her name in the Hall of Fame in Providence.
She would never walk down the aisle of the Old North Church.
She would never honeymoon in Spain or run with the bulls in Pamplona or see the sunny, safe spot in the bullrings of Seville.
She would never feel the miracle of new life kicking inside her.
She would never teach her daughter how to hoist a mainsail or strike a luff curve.
Worst of all—and this was what distressed her more than anything—she would never know true and lasting love.
She tried to stop herself. She never even thought about a list like this yesterday or the day before, but now it went on and on. . . .
She would never again taste the roast beef at Mino’s. She would never bundle up and play in the Powder Puff game on Thanksgiving. These were her rituals, the routines that made her feel alive and connected. Without them, where would she be?
Lost.
And there was this wonderful new man. She would never get to know this Charlie St. Cloud, who appeared from nowhere in her life and instantly was snatched out of reach. Why had she met him now? God must have had a reason.
She tried to concentrate on what Charlie and Sam were saying, taking turns describing the afterlife and the road ahead. They made it all sound like the most natural transition in the world. After a while, she interrupted Charlie. “I need to understand how this works. How can you see Sam?” She hesitated for a moment. “And how can you see me?”
“When our accident happened,” Charlie explained, “I crossed over too. It was a classic near-death experience, and when they shocked me back to life, I was graced with this gift. I could still see people in limbo between life and death.”
“That’s where I am now?”
“I think so,” he said, “but you threw me off a little. You don’t really look like most spirits.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Tess said. “Now, what about touching? How did we kiss last night? How can I open doors and change clothes and feed Bobo?”
Charlie smiled. “Right now, you have one foot in both worlds. You’re here and not here. You’re literally in between.” He reached out and took her hand. “Folks who die very suddenly or who don’t want to let go can exert a very strong physical presence. They can do stuff like throw baseballs, drink beer, or flush toilets. They’re the ones who make lights flicker and things go bump in the night.”
“How come I haven’t seen any?”
“Besides Sam, there aren’t any around right now,” he said. “Mrs. Phipps from the high school moved on this morning. And I haven’t seen a firefighter named Florio in a while.”
“See, God picks when you live and die,” Sam added. “But when you’re here in between, you have a choice too. You can stay here as long as you want, just like me. Or you can go to the next level right away. It’s your call.”
Tess felt a wave of worry. “Why hasn’t my dad come to see me?” she asked. “I always thought he would be here waiting.”
“Don’t worry,” Charlie said. “He’ll be there for you, but you haven’t crossed over to the other side yet.”
“I thought this was the other side.”
“That’s what everyone thinks,” Sam said. “They watch John Edward on TV. They read those books about the afterlife. Everyone tells you that when you die, you see the light and you pass on. Period. The end.” He smiled and lowered his voice into a whisper. “It’s actually more complicated.”
Then he stood up and began to gesture with his hands. “There are actually lots of levels and places on this side.” He drew a circle in the air. “Imagine that