Charlie St. Cloud Page 0,40
But, he could tell, Tess was different. From the moment he met her, he knew she would understand.
He sat down on the steps of the mausoleum and said, “You were right this afternoon. Sam is why I work here. I promised I’d always take care of him.”
“So you think he’s around?”
Charlie looked up at her. “As sure as I am of anything.”
“God, if only I had that same certainty about my father.” She sat down beside him. He could smell her shampoo and feel her warmth. “I wish I knew Dad was close by.”
“What makes you think he isn’t?” Charlie said.
“There’d be some kind of sign, don’t you think?”
“I think those signs are all around if you know where to look.”
He made an absentminded looping motion with the flashlight beam, and as it swept the darkness he saw the most unexpected sight: Sam was hanging upside down from a hemlock branch and making a funny face. Charlie shut off the beam and leaped to his feet.
“What’s wrong?” Tess said.
“Nothing. Just got a chill.” He flipped the flashlight on again, turned it in the direction of the branch, but Sam was gone.
“You were telling me about Sam,” she said. He focused on her emerald eyes. Did she really want to hear the answers? He was about to speak, but with his peripheral vision he saw something move. Over her shoulder in the light of the emerging moon, there was Sam racing across the lawn with Oscar.
“What do you miss most about him?” Tess asked.
“I miss punching him in the nose when he was a brat,” he said in a voice that he hoped Sam would hear. “He liked to spy on people even when it was totally inappropriate.” Charlie checked over Tess’s shoulder again, and now Sam was gone.
“Most of all,” he continued, “I miss that feeling when you go to sleep at night and when you wake up in the morning. It’s the feeling that everything is all right in the world. You know, that amazing feeling that you’re whole, that you’ve got everything you want, that you aren’t missing anything. Sometimes when I wake up, I get it just for a moment. It lasts a few seconds, but then I remember what happened, and how nothing has been the same since.”
“You think that’ll ever go away?”
“I doubt it.” And then, incredibly, he found himself opening up even more. “Some days are better than others. You know, I finish work and hang out at the Barnacle or shoot pool at Bay State Billiards. It feels like it’s gone, and I’m just like everyone else. Then, without warning, it comes back and lodges in my mind. That’s when I don’t feel right being around anyone. So I stay here behind the gates, listening to music, thinking, and reading books. I guess I never really know when it’ll hit me. It’s like the weather. Blue sky one day, thunder and rain the next.”
“Same for me,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. “But it’s strange. Tonight’s the first time in two years that I haven’t missed him so much it hurts.” Then she smiled and did the most incredible thing. She reached over and squeezed his hand.
A hemlock branch snapped behind Tess. She spun around, surprised by the noise. A fistful of needles landed on her shoulder. She turned to Charlie with one eyebrow arched. “Did you just see something? What was that?!”
He laughed. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Go ahead, try me.”
“Maybe it was your dad.”
Tess scoffed. “If Dad was here, he wouldn’t pussyfoot around making tree branches snap. He’d really let me know.” She stood up. “Tell the truth, do you really believe in that stuff?”
“Absolutely. I’ve seen too many things that defy explanation.”
She chuckled. “You mean like twigs falling from a tree?”
“No,” he said. “Like meeting you. Like dinner tonight.”
She looked at him for a long moment. Her eyes seemed full of feeling. Then she abruptly changed the subject. “Charlie, tell me. You ever seen a ghost?”
Sam was now perched behind her on the roof of the mausoleum. His fingers were jammed into each corner of his mouth, stretching it wide into a funny face. Irritated, Charlie knew there was no good answer. He had gone far enough tonight and they were entering uncertain terrain. He didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t want to scare her away either, so he chose the safest route. “I’ve heard the Screeching Woman down by Lovis Cove.”
“No way, the one