Chaos & the Geek (Grace Grayson Security #1) - Elizabeth Stevens Page 0,30

I was broken or dirty and they’d avoided touching me. It had been obvious in the way they withdrew. Dannie had witnessed the last bit of it all, so she’d known everything. But even she’d had trouble dealing with it.

Apparently not Kit, though. Kit, who stories said went through every girl in his year, half the ones above and below and all the teachers under thirty-five by the time he left school. I never knew how many of the stories were true, but some of them had to be if he’d got the reputation in the first place.

But that guy, on hearing my story, only held me close, kissed my hair and said, “I’m so sorry, Amber.”

I sniffled. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“No. It wasn’t. But I’m sorry Hawk and I weren’t here to help you, to beat that sorry excuse for a human being to a fucking pulp.” He paused. “Is that why…?”

I knew what he was asking, and I didn’t mind that he was asking. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think yes. Sometimes I think the right guy hasn’t come along. Sometimes I think maybe I’m just broken in all sorts of ways.”

He squeezed me tightly. “You’re not broken, Amber. Not…” He sighed. “Not when you’re still looking, when you haven’t given up.”

I felt like I knew what he wasn’t saying there.

“Not like you?” I asked.

I felt his breath catch. “Not like me,” he finally agreed.

“You saw some terrible stuff?” I asked.

I felt him nod. “Saw it. Did it. Had it done to us.”

“Would you change any of it?”

He shook his head. “No. We did some really amazing things, met some really amazing people. But it’s the price you pay. You can’t get something for nothing.”

I nodded. “I guess not.” Then something caught my eye and I pulled away.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you bleeding?”

He looked down at the pink smudge on his shirt. “Ah. No. That’s not mine.” He frowned for a moment. “I don’t think.”

Without thinking, I started undoing his buttons.

“Woah, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to rinse this out so Carmel doesn’t yell at you again.”

He grinned at me ruefully as he helped me get him out of the shirt. It stuck to his skin something shocking with all the water. But we finally got it off him and I shifted slightly to hold it under the stream of hot water.

“Cold water!” Kit laughed and I looked at him quizzically. His smile softened as he took the shirt from me. “Cold water or the blood will congeal.”

“That’s something I didn’t realise I didn’t need to know,” I replied, not even bothering to fight my return smile.

Our eyes locked again and my heart fluttered. My mouth went dry. My teeth caught my lip like they knew I was going to say or do something stupid. It wasn’t just that Kit was gorgeous. It wasn’t just that the humour in his eyes was infectious. It wasn’t just that being near him did funny things to my entire being. He’d understood me in a way no one else had. It was this insistent feeling I had that something was zinging between us. It was this niggling sensation that something had changed between us. But what? And was it all just me?

“Carmel’ll yell at me if she finds out you rinsed it for me anyway,” he said softly as his eyes searched mine lingeringly, and I entertained the notion he felt the same way I did.

I sniffed away a laugh. “Well, are you going to tell her?”

He shrugged. “No, but she just knows these things.”

I smiled. “You know you would have thrown it in the hamper and forgotten about it.”

It seemed one of Carmel’s favourite talking points; how often she had to get blood out of Kit’s shirts. I’d had a lengthy conversation with her about earlier in the day when she’d come by.

“Yeah, probably.”

I suddenly started to feel self-conscious and I looked down. Which only made me more self-conscious as I realised my nipples were standing loud and proud through my t-shirt. And I knew it wasn’t just the chill of the air to blame. I felt my cheeks heat and took a deep breath.

“Right. Uh… I think I’m good.”

Kit nodded. “All right. Count of three.”

I took his shirt back from him in confusion. “What? Oh!” I yelped as his hands were on my hips and he somehow managed to get me to standing.

I squished myself against the wall as he jumped up. He took my face in his hands again