Chaos & the Geek (Grace Grayson Security #1) - Elizabeth Stevens Page 0,28

to throw up. I ran to the bathroom and just got to the toilet as I gagged. But nothing came out. I panted heavily, not sure if I was still going to be sick or not.

“What’s wrong? What can I do?” Kit asked, dropping beside me.

I shook my head at him. “It’ll pass.”

“This has happened before.” It wasn’t a question.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak yet.

It had happened before. It had been a regular occurrence for years. But after years of therapy and medication, it had finally gone away and I’d thought I’d seen the end of it. Apparently all the avoiding of my issues the last few days had dredged it all back up again.

“What do you need?” Kit asked.

I needed a shower. I needed water. I needed more sleep than I’d been letting myself have. I needed Kit to stop being…whatever he’d been this last week.

Kit had never been kind or sweet or funny. He’d been brooding and sexy and angry. But this week he was nothing like that. He exuded everything that screamed bad boy under those suits, but like he had a squishy soft centre in the middle. And that I couldn’t handle. I was barely reminding my lungs and brain not to go to mush around him, I didn’t need my heart threatening to do the same.

“Amber, what can I do?”

I couldn’t answer. My heart was threatening to pound out of my chest and I felt like I was about to stop breathing. And neither of those things currently had anything to do with Kit. I pushed myself up on shaky legs and took a step towards the shower. But my stupid legs buckled. Kit, of course, was there to catch me with those stupidly strong arms.

“Tell me how to help,” he pleaded.

“Shower,” I wheezed, my skin crawling. It would take everything I had not to scrub my skin raw from head to toe.

He nodded, reached over to drop the toilet seat and lid, and directed me to sit on it. “We’re going to do this together, okay?” he said in calm, comforting tones. “I’m just going to take off my jacket,” he said slowly as he did so and we both ignored him taking off his holster, “my tie, my belt, my shoes… And my socks…” He crouched in front of me and kept speaking calmly and comfortingly. “You okay?” I nodded. “Good. Now, I’m going to turn on the water. Just shake or nod in answer. Do you want it cold?” I shook. “Tepid?” Another shake. “Warm?” Another shake. “Hot?” I nodded. “Good. Sit tight and I’ll be back in just a second, okay?”

I nodded again and tried hard to focus on reminding myself that each breath was not my last. He got up slowly and went to turn the water on. Then he was back and helping me stand up.

“You okay to walk?” he asked, and I nodded.

He helped me into the shower and got in with me, still in his suit pants and shirt. My legs buckled again and he caught me again.

“Shall we sit?” he asked softly, and I nodded yet again. “Okay. I’ll sit, then your turn.”

One more nod.

He dropped down and held his hands out to me. I was on autopilot. I took his hands and let him settle me in his lap, his arms tightly around me like he could protect me from the world. I curled up against him, feeling an inordinate amount of comfort from the steady beating of his heart against my cheek.

“Your brother was a right tosser today, you know,” he said in that calm, comforting voice as he leant his cheek on my head. “He hid Nico’s tablet, which freaked the poor nerd out well and truly. Then he lumped his client on me which meant I had to send Tank to mine when he should have been taking a class…”

And Kit just prattled on about his day. Always in that calm, steady voice, the hot water falling around us. In the midst of an already fairly epic freak out, I had no time to freak out about the fact that I was in Kit’s arms in the shower. I also had no time to freak out about the fact I was in Kit’s arms in the shower having a freak out.

And slowly, as he just talked about seemingly nothing and held me, my heart calmed down, the nausea abated and my breathing evened out. My skin even lost that crawling