Chances Are - By Christy Reece Page 0,77
bubble, concentrating on the here and now, things like what would happen when she returned to work were pushed aside. But now, it had to be addressed. He hadn’t been onboard at the beginning when he first learned she wanted to be an operative. Surely, after everything that had happened, his opinion had changed.
“I’m not going back as a researcher. I’m going back as a field operative.”
His face as forbidding as a dark thundercloud, he shook his head. “No, you’re not. You told Noah you quit. That you wanted to go back to research.”
“That was before. Now that I know I can handle myself, it’s what I still want to do.”
“Dammit, did almost dying not teach you anything?”
“Yes, it taught me how strong and resilient I am. Delacourte tried to destroy the essence of who I am—it didn’t work. I admit, I was arrogant early on…I’ve lost the arrogance and now have something stronger in its place. I know I can handle myself when crunch time comes. I will be a damn good operative. I know I need additional training to overcome some issues and Noah’s already told me he’ll only give me assignments he thinks I can handle until I prove myself.”
“You’ve already talked to McCall about this?”
“Yes. Yesterday.”
Surprisingly, or maybe not surprisingly, since Noah often seemed to have an inside view of people’s thoughts, he hadn’t acted shocked when she had told him she still wanted to be an operative. She had listened to his list of expectations and had agreed to every one of them. She would do whatever was necessary to become the kind of operative she’d always dreamed.
Jake couldn’t stop shaking his head. How the hell had he not seen this coming? How did she not know where he stood?
“We've got something good here, Angela. I assumed you felt the same way.”
“Of course I do.”
The confusion on her face told him she didn’t understand how their relationship and her job were related. In his mind, they were so intertwined that separation wasn’t possible.
“Then, if you feel that way, why the hell would you even consider going back as an operative?”
“Aren’t you an operative?”
“Of course. It’s my job.”
“And my job, too.”
“No, it’s not, dammit. You’re a researcher.” He stopped and tried something else. “Look, I admit, you’re talented—your skills are top-notch. But LCR has over a hundred operatives. We only have a handful of researchers. You have nothing to prove to anyone by going back into the field.”
“This is the very same argument you gave when you first learned I wanted to be an operative. I understood it then because you didn’t know what I was capable of. Now that you know, why would you think I’d want to go back to being a researcher?”
“Because it almost got you killed.”
“All operatives live with that knowledge daily. But I took down a serial killer single-handedly. I saved Clarissa’s life, my own, and who knows how many others. You’re dismissing it as if it meant nothing.”
“I’m not dismissing it at all. What you did was damn brave but that…” He pulled in a deep breath and tried again. “What I'm saying is...”
Jake stopped. He was stumbling all over himself to come up with a better way to say what he was feeling. But what the hell…she had to know where he stood. “When I lost Teresa, it almost killed me. When I thought I’d lost you, I wanted to die. I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”
“Jake, in all the years I’ve been with LCR, we’ve lost exactly one operative. Those are damn good odds.”
Her bright, beautiful smile was supposed to reassure him but all he saw was how she had looked when he’d found her at Delacourte’s house of horrors. He couldn’t bear to see her like that again or have something even worse happen to her.
“Whether there have been no deaths or fifty doesn’t matter. Knowing you’re going through danger day after day isn’t something I can live with. Period.”
Dark brown eyes, filled with hurt and confusion, stared at him for the longest. Putting down an ultimatum was probably a dumbass thing to do but he wasn't going to lie to her. This had to be said.
She stood, wrapped her arms around herself, and said the very words he had been thinking, “So what you’re saying is, if I go back as an operative, we’re through?”
Even as his heart twisted at the thought of never being with her again, she had to know the consequences