Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men - By Regan Wolfrom Page 0,8
cartoons of alien probing, but that didn’t happen. That’s a good thing, what with my Hello Kitty underwear; it always looks a lot cooler in the store.
“I’m not dealing with the mess if she dies,” Gary said as he put on a pair of latex gloves.
“Don’t worry,” Cadance said, “we’ll feed her to the pigs.”
“Again, Cadance... that was a joke. You’d better not poison my pigs with all the crap I’m about to shoot into this girl.”
“You’re not making me feel good about this,” I said.
“It could be worse,” Tiara said.
“It will be worse,” Cadance said. “I’ll make sure of that.”
“Hold her by the neck,” Gary said. “You, Cadance. And Tiara... try to pin her elbows. She needs to be still.”
The girls held me down and it hurt like hell.
I didn’t fight it. I’ve given enough blood to know that there’s no upside to making someone miss your vein.
Gary took out a syringe and injected a light green fluid into my arm.
I laid on the table and waited, not that I had any other choice.
He watched me. I wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see.
He licked his lips again.
Cadance kept her grip on my neck, pressing harder than she needed to but apparently a tiny bit less than it’d take to kill me.
“Now what?” I gasped.
“Nothing,” Gary said.
No one did anything for almost a full minute, aside from Cadance’s continuing squeeze on my airway.
“Yup,” Gary said. “Nothing. I told you, Tiara. This girl’s immune to the toxin. Just like Ms. --”
“How can you be so sure?” Tiara asked. “I mean, honestly...”
“Well, she’s still awake... she hasn’t vomited... she hasn’t soiled herself...”
“Can I go now?” I asked as Cadance loosened her grip on my throat.
“You’re not winning us over,” she said.
“We can’t let her go,” Gary said. “Ms. Shannard’s told me what to do.”
“We’re supposed to kill her?”
“I won’t tell anybody,” I said. “Just let me go and I’ll forget all about it.”
“Now you’re just pissing us off,” Cadance said.
“You can’t just kill me.”
“I’m open to suggestions,” Tiara said. “Give me something I can use to change their minds.”
“We have to kill her,” Gary said. “She’s more dangerous than you girls realize.”
Tiara stomped her feet like an eight-year-old. “You’re not in charge,” she said. “I’m in charge.”
“So we should give Ms. Shannard a call to ask who’s running things here? Come on, Tiara... your father’s already hanging on a thread here.”
“You’re on a thread, buddy,” Cadance said.
“Look,” Gary said, “it’s simple. Ms. Shannard gives the orders. She told me to bring these girls here and she told me to watch this one for immunity. So that’s what I’ve done. And Amanda here is immune, just like she expected.”
“So she got one right,” Cadance said.
“We need zombies,” Gary said. “That was the point of this. Amanda is not a zombie.”
“A zombie?” I said.
“You really are mentally challenged,” Cadance said.
“Is that what’s wrong with those guys mucking stalls? You’ve drugged them up so they act like zombies?”
“They are zombies,” Gary said. “In the vodou tradition.”
“This is crazy.”
“The pigs are getting hungry,” Cadance said.
“Still a joke,” Gary said.
“I know. I can be funny, too.”
“I can be a zombie,” I said.
For some reason that led Cadance to start squeezing my neck again. “What are you talking about?” she asked.
“You want mindless slaves to do your bidding. I can do that. My father’s a lifelong Republican.”
“You’re no good to us.” She tightened her grip a little.
“It won’t work,” Gary said. “You can’t just pretend to be a zombie.”
“No,” Tiara said, “It might work. I mean, I guess it might... you know, since no one even told me that we’re changing our entire business model.”
“That’s not the plan,” Gary said. “We’ll go with the other two girls. We’ll just have them work harder.”
“This whole thing is a stupid idea,” Cadance said. “We can handle the men; we should have just gotten another load from Sugarbush.”
“Tell that to Rarity,” Gary said.
Cadance let go of my throat. “Rarity was stupid,” she said. “She let them take her.”
“Rarity was our sister,” Tiara said. “Don’t you even care?”
“Wait,” I said. “Rarity is a person’s name?”
“It’s a nickname,” Cadance said. “From My Little Pony... gawd. Seriously. Mentally challenged.”
“You know, just because you call someone ‘mentally challenged’ instead of ‘retarded’ doesn’t make it any less offensive.”
“You’re offensive.”
“The decision’s been made,” Gary said. “I’ll handle it.”
“And how are you planning on doing that?” Tiara asked.
“I’ll take her with me. I’ll dump her in Lake George. I’ve had practice.”