Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men - By Regan Wolfrom Page 0,44
Breccan,” I said. “Just shut up while the grownups talk, okay?” I leaned across the table towards her, trying to show her just how ready I was to slap her upside her head.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Jon said, doing his best white knight impression.
“Or what?”
“I’m serious.”
“Everyone needs to shut up,” Darrel said. “We’re not getting anywhere with this.”
“That’s because you stole the rations,” Jon said. “So just admit it so I can start kicking your ass.”
“The toothpaste,” I said. “I put it with the rations.”
“So what?” Jon said.
“No one’s brushing their teeth these days. I’ll bet whoever took the rations smells like the rations.”
“That’s a good point,” Darrel said.
“Let’s smell your breath, then,” Jon said.
Darrel leaned over and blew a gust of air across the table. It smelt of rot. Considering the situation, I was glad he stank. It’s pretty bad form for the captain to eat up all the food.
“I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” he said.
“That doesn’t mean you didn’t take the rations,” Jon said. He huffed over at Darrel, then turned and gave the same huff to me. The same bad smell.
“You’re both clean,” I said. “You know, like, figuratively.”
“So it’s a stupid idea,” Breccan said.
“Your turn, Breccan,” Darrel said.
“This is ridiculous.”
Darrel leaned in towards her. “Come on.”
She gave out a little puff.
I could smell it from across the table.
“Toothpaste,” I said. “So you thought you’d cover up the smell of the food with something else that’s gone missing?”
“I was hungry,” she said. “Gawd.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Darrel said. “You really did eat all of the rations?”
She nodded.
“Even the fucking oatmeal powder?”
She nodded again.
The way that Darrel looked at her made me wonder if he was about to hit her. But he sighed and turned to face me.
“We’ve got a problem,” he said.
“We’re out of food,” I said.
“No. She’s the problem.”
“Oh. So we should eat her.”
“This isn’t funny,” Jon said.
“It kinda is,” I said. “The damage is done. She ate the food. So let’s figure out what to do next.”
“That’s not good enough,” Darrel said.
“What’s not good enough? You want to give her a spanking?”
“We’re all going to die anyway,” Breccan said. “What does it matter?”
She had a point.
“Let’s just try to cool down,” I said. “Let’s take a break here, and maybe we’ll come up with something after some time apart.”
“Fuck this shit,” Jon said. He climbed up to the cockpit, preferring to freeze rather than stay with us. He’d always liked Breccan, and now he knew her well enough not to.
“We still have to deal with her,” Darrel said.
“Just drop it,” I told him. “There’s no point.”
“I’m sorry,” Breccan said.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to tell her.
She laid down in one of the bunks and covered her head with a blanket.
I stayed at the table, as did Darrel, but I think we were both trying not to notice each other.
The food isn’t really the problem. We need rain. Rain by Wednesday, Thursday at the very latest. And then, if we’re lucky enough to get the water... then we’ll need food.
I know we could last a few weeks in theory on water alone, but there’s no way that would work in real life. The only person on this boat who doesn’t have a mortal enemy is me... at least I don’t know of anyone who wants me dead. And we won’t make it to the end of the week without eating; someone is going to lose control.
Hell... it could even be me.
I heard Jon call down from the cockpit. He was calling for me.
I climbed up into the cold and wet air. He was pointing up at the sky, toward the sun.
“I saw a raven,” he said.
“A raven? Out here?”
“We must be near land, right? It’s not like ravens are sea birds.”
I thought of Edgar, and of Paul. I thought of the beautiful island from what might be my last day on dry land. Ravens need the land, too.
“You’re right,” I said, almost with a smile. “We must be near something.”
“Binoculars.”
“There’s a pair in the salon.”
“I can go.” He put his hand on my shoulder, as though we were friends again.
He climbed down the steps.
I waited up top and wished I hadn’t. We’d all planned for the rain, but I don’t think any of us had expected so much cold.
Jon came back up with the binoculars, and started looking out toward the East. He moved his head from side to side in a wide arc.