Cast in Wisdom (Chronicles of Elantra #15) - Michelle Sagara Page 0,88
went with knowledge of your past, of yourself, of the things that you had done and hated—and of the things you wanted of yourself. You’d already begun to make those changes.”
Kaylin’s snort was less forceful. “I first left the fiefs to assassinate the Hawklord.” She seldom said this out loud. But Helen already knew, even if she had never heard it directly.
“I do,” Helen said, her voice softer. “But Kaylin, you knew you would never succeed. You didn’t come to assassinate him; you came to die.” Helen’s Avatar appeared in her room as Kaylin turned toward the sound of her voice. There was, alongside the knowledge, an acceptance that Kaylin struggled to maintain.
Her home hugged her gently.
“What you were when you arrived in Elantra is not what you are now. The choices that you’ve made since then were different choices. They were not choices you could have made in the fiefs. You wanted to be a different person—but the person you are grows out of the person you were.
“You remember all of the bad things. You remember the why of them. You could have chosen to be far more judgmental in your work as a Hawk.”
“I am.” Muffled voice.
“Not to my eye,” Helen replied. “And no, I don’t see you at work. But I know what your day was like. I could wish you might take Margot less personally, but knocking over her sandwich board on a daily basis didn’t prevent you from saving her life.”
“Don’t remind me.”
Helen chuckled. “You have two visitors,” she added.
“Two?”
“Sorry, three, but one is Severn.”
* * *
The parlor—not the dining room—was where Kaylin’s breakfast was served. The room had grown, but it now hosted more than four people. The Arkon was present, and with him, Lord Emmerian; Severn was, as Helen had said, here. Kaylin lifted brows in his direction.
“I was told that while you are seconded to the Imperial Palace, I am also seconded to the palace.”
The Arkon said, “By whom?” His voice was chilly. His eyes were orange.
“The Lord of Hawks. Lord Grammayre.”
“I see.”
“The Hawks work in pairs,” Kaylin pointed out.
“The Arkon,” the Arkon said, “does not.”
“We have a mirror, if you want to speak with someone who can rescind those orders,” Kaylin told him. “But neither Severn nor I can ignore them.”
Teela walked into the parlor. She was not happy. “We will be heading into the Halls of Law, and I will happily relay your discontent.” Given the color of her eyes, Teela’s discontent was likely to be first on the discussion list.
Kaylin decided that rank mattered for reasons of pay. But Teela and Kaylin now shared a rank, and there were things that Teela could say that Kaylin couldn’t, if she wanted to keep her new rank.
On the other hand, Kaylin couldn’t imagine the Arkon wanted more people as companions. He didn’t seem happy to be stuck with Severn and probably accepted Kaylin under sufferance. Kaylin had the book. The Arkon did not.
Kaylin had already started a mental cringe, because if Teela wasn’t coming, it meant one of the cohort was. Annarion walked into the room. He failed to meet the Arkon’s glare but offered the older Dragon a perfect obeisance.
Kaylin didn’t argue against his inclusion because there wasn’t any point. And it made sense to her—they needed one member of the cohort present to contact Mandoran and Terrano.
The smart person to leave behind was Bellusdeo, and as no one was going to win that argument, Kaylin buried it. She had a better chance talking Annarion out of going. But she repented when the second member of the cohort entered the room.
It was Sedarias.
Kaylin left her chair. So did the Arkon and Emmerian.
“An’Mellarionne,” the Arkon said, offering her a slight bow.
“Arkon,” she replied. Her bow was slightly shallower than Annarion’s had been but far more respectful than the Arkon’s. “If you find our company burdensome, we will proceed on our own. It is not to cause grief or a moment’s discomfort that we have determined to return to the site at which we last heard our lost friends.” Her voice was grave, her eyes blue. Sedarias had always had the bluest eyes in the cohort.
The Arkon resumed his seat. “It is my suspicion that you have some familiarity with Arcanists.”
“None from within the Arcanum,” Sedarias replied. “And Lord Kaylin does not appear fond of the Arcanum, so it has not been much discussed.”
“You are aware of the Arcanist Lord Kaylin could see.”