“Fine. I’m going to get going.” Lucas had said all he’d come to say.
He didn’t want to believe his father was choosing sides between his children, but his inability to see the bad in Keith left Lucas feeling less than. Something he was damned tired of dealing with in his life. And something he was long past. Except when it came to his parents.
Lucas turned to leave when his father spoke. “Son… there’s more I need to say.”
Lucas paused mid-step and turned, facing his dad.
He realized his father was still suffering, the lines around his eyes so pronounced. Despite everything, it hurt Lucas to see. He waited for the older man to speak.
“I knew your brother didn’t have your moral fiber. Or mine,” he finally said, the admission taking Lucas by surprise.
His father grabbed on to the back of a chair as he spoke. “We thought Maxie would be a good influence on him. You were in California when they started to date and… we hoped he’d stop looking for more, for better—”
“For what I had? Or wanted?” Lucas asked, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone. “Or was that something you conveniently shut your eyes to as well?”
His father looked away. His mother hadn’t lifted her gaze from her lap. “You were smart. Such a good boy. We knew only great things would come your way. Your brother? He tried too hard, and we thought once you left, he’d mellow out. He always was too competitive.”
Lucas’ mouth turned dry at that convoluted way of seeing the past. “Are you saying I had it easy? I was bullied by Keith and his friends. School was hard because I couldn’t sit still. I was smart but it was too simplistic, too easy. Dropping out wasn’t easy. I felt like a failure, while Keith was the golden boy. Your favorite by far, popular, sports star, and yet there was nothing I could have that he didn’t try to take away. Maxie was his ultimate screw you to me. And you stood by and let it happen because you were more worried about Keith!” Lucas exploded, the words flying from his mouth in a torrent of held-back pain and rage.
“Because if we didn’t, we had to face our failures as parents!” his father exploded in return.
“So instead you sacrificed me.” Lucas felt sick.
Bryce winced. “We didn’t know Keith was so mentally sick or how far he’d go to get what he wanted.”
Maybe you should have paid more attention. Yet despite Lucas’ disappointment in his parents, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt them by saying those thoughts out loud.
“Well, he was sick and he did a lot of damage. Especially to Maxie. And that’s the other reason I came. I’m not sure where things are headed with us, but I know where I want things to go.” And he was bringing her there at her own pace. “But if Maxie and I do end up together, and you can’t give your blessing, you need to say nothing at all. She doesn’t deserve your disapproval. Not after all Keith put her through.” He met his father’s stare with a challenging one of his own.
Let him think about all he’d said today and come to terms. Or not. Nothing would change how Lucas felt about Maxie or what he wanted for their future.
* * *
For the first time since starting work, Maxie called in sick. She woke up queasy, which turned into real nausea. She figured she had picked up a virus similar to the one Lexie had had a week or so before. Instead of pushing herself to try and get into the office, she took the day off.
It didn’t help that she was in a complete panic because, to date, they hadn’t found the USB drive Vincent Bernardi wanted, and she didn’t know if they ever would.
At the thought, she ran for the bathroom and emptied what little she’d been able to eat this morning. She washed up and brushed her teeth, then returned to the family room to rest on the couch.
As for Bernardi, she couldn’t forget him because he was always around. He didn’t approach her, her security guard made certain of that, but she’d noticed him outside her place of work during the day and hanging near their apartment building in the evening. She ran into him at a coffee shop, where he merely nodded at her with a knowing smile. His obvious intent was to let her know he wasn’t going anywhere… and she owed him his property.
While home for the day, she looked through all her personal things again just in case Keith had put the flash drive in, say, her jewelry box, but nothing there.
Before coming home from work, Lucas had gone to meet with Julian Dane, fulfilling his promise to Kade to make sure he steered clear of Kendall. She wondered how that meeting was going. He’d had a lot of stress in his life lately, and she’d done what she could to soothe him at home.
He hadn’t talked much about his conversation with his mother and father, but he wasn’t happy with them. She knew what it was like to be estranged from your parents. Her father had never bothered with her, not even as a child. And she and her mother had so little in common they couldn’t be in the same room without her mother criticizing everything about Maxie’s life. Over time, she’d found it easier not to have much to do with her at all.
But that wasn’t how Lucas lived his life. For all his family’s flaws, he loved them. She hoped that over time they’d accept the truth about Keith and open their hearts to the son they had left.
She shut the television and straightened up the family room, then returned to her bedroom to grab clean pajamas, shower, and change for bed. She’d been sleeping in Lucas’ room and had no desire to change things. She’d grown used to being wrapped in his arms, and she even admitted to herself that he’d done everything in his power to allow her the independence she needed. She wasn’t looking to the future, but now was pretty damned good.
Her gaze fell to the box she’d left in the corner. The baby’s items from the storage unit, a distinct reminder of the past. The painful lump immediately formed in her chest.
Maybe it was time to let these items go. She couldn’t rewind events and change the outcome, and she needed to be able to enjoy the life she’d created and was living now. Every time she caught sight of the box, she was dragged back into suffocating memories. They’d always be with her, but she couldn’t deny that getting rid of the box was a symbol of being ready to move on.
She sat down on the floor and opened the flaps on top. First she pulled out the soft blue blanket with a satin fringe. She rubbed the gentle material against her cheek, closed her eyes, and allowed herself to shed a tear for what she’d lost. And what she decided she’d never have. She couldn’t imagine taking that risk ever again. Not when the agony of the loss was so acute and the spiral of depression had been so deep.
She opened her eyes and folded the blanket. Next came the little bear she’d found in a department store baby department. She touched her nose to the stuffed animal and smiled, putting it on top of the blanket. Next came the mobile. Blue and yellow in color, it had plastic arms from which hung adorable baby sheep. Without batteries, the music didn’t work, but she’d been so excited to use it.