Going Down Easy(58)

She inched in and closed the door behind her. Nervous, she decided to jump right in with her explanation.

“I’m not here for business only,” she said, picking up where they’d left off. “When I decided to come back to you, I wanted to make a grand gesture. Something that would prove to you how much I love you.”

His eyes flashed a deeper hue at her use of the word love.

She gathered her courage and continued. “The first idea I had was returning as your assistant, because what do you get the man who has everything?” She shrugged. “The one thing he needs the most.”

“Someone to make my coffee?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with laughter.

She felt a little better and grinned. “That’s part of it. Contacting your brother was the other part. I wanted you to have that connection, and I knew how important it was to you. If I’d gotten any inkling that Jeffrey didn’t want that contact too, I’d have put the entire idea to bed.”

Kade waited patiently, watching her, his gaze warm, giving her courage.

“As it turns out, Jeffrey had wanted to reach out for years, but your mother convinced him neither you nor your father had any interest in him.” She shook her head, hating herself for having to hurt him that way.

To Kade’s credit, he didn’t even flinch. “She’s such a bitch,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry.” She stepped forward, wanting desperately to touch him, but they weren’t there … yet.

“I’m over it and her. I swear. Something about meeting you and your immediate acceptance of me… It changed my perspective. It changed me.”

She lit up inside at his admission. “You changed things for me too.” She drew a deep breath. “You see, a few weeks ago, I took my sister to the Maple Hill Treatment Center upstate. For a long-term stay.”

“Come here.” He gestured for her to come closer, and she met him by his desk. He grasped her hand in his, and she took comfort from his touch. His thumb caressed her skin, and the heat set her aflame.

“Now go on,” he said in a husky tone.

She allowed herself to meet his gaze. “I was sitting alone in the waiting room, and I saw you on television. What you went through, admitting to the date rape accusation, walking away from Blink so you could save Derek and Luke … so Julian wouldn’t go after the people you cared about again. You’re amazing. And I should have been with you. I wanted to be with you.”

Understanding settled in his handsome face. “Your sister needed you,” he said. “I not only understood that but I respected it.”

“And I’m grateful, but don’t you see? My sister will always need me. Does that mean I don’t get a life? Does it mean I don’t get to choose you?”

He blinked, then stilled. “Is that what you’re doing? Choosing me?” He squeezed her hand tighter, and she understood what he wasn’t saying.

“I am. If you still want me.” She managed an uncertain smile. “I realized too late why you left the morning after we made love. Because you didn’t want to force me to choose. Because you’ve always come out on the wrong side of that in the past.”

“You’re right,” he admitted.

She reached up and cupped his cheeks. “I told my father it’s time for him to step up and be Kendall’s parent. That I’m entitled to my own life. I love my sister, and I will always be there for her. But I can’t clean up her messes anymore. She has to get there on her own or with the support of my father. When I can help her, I will, but you’re my priority, Kade. Does that make me selfish, wanting my own life?” She drew a deep breath and met his gaze. “Wanting you?”

He shook his head, squeezing her wrists and bringing her hands down in front of them. “No, you are not selfish. And I don’t ever want you to have to choose between me and your family. You needed me to walk away, to let you cope the way you always had before, so I did. I’ll always give you what you need.”

“Oh, Kade. I need you. I want you. I love you.” She blinked, her eyes watery. “But the one thing I don’t want is for you to leave me ever again.”

The next thing she knew, she was in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist, her lips on his, kissing him without coming up for air.

She’d missed him so much.

Kade tugged on Lexie’s hair, tilting her head back and drinking his fill of the woman he never thought he’d have in his arms again. Desire swept over him, along with a longing that was soul deep and all consuming.

He backed her against the wall and cushioned his hips between hers. His cock was hard and insistent against her pussy, his brain a haze of want and need. He wasn’t focused on anything other than getting inside Lexie again, and considering this was his private office, there was nothing stopping him. He was about to make was a shitty rainy day a spectacular one.

“I mean it, Kade. I love you,” she said.

He’d never get tired of hearing those words. As a matter of fact… “I want to hear you say it while I’m balls deep inside you.” He pressed a kiss to her nose, her cheeks, her lips.

He needed to hear her say it when they were as physically close as they could be. He’d lose himself in her warm, always willing body and bury the last shred of feeling not quite good enough, once and for all.