Lexie couldn’t get out of bed. She wanted to. She needed to pick herself up and move forward, but she decided she needed time to mourn the relationship she’d had, however briefly. Kade had brought something to her life she hadn’t known she needed. She’d spent so much time taking care of her sister and putting her own needs aside she’d almost forgotten she had desires that most women took for granted.
For a short time, she’d enjoyed being the focus of a man’s attention. And not just any man. Kaden Barnes had shown up in her life and turned it upside down. He was unique on so many levels. Intelligent to a degree she couldn’t come close to comprehending. His arrogance was a cover for insecurities over things he couldn’t control. His ADHD, his anxiety, all things that were a part of what made him unique and defined him also set him apart from others.
She was pretty sure he had his mother to thank for making him feel those things made him less than … less than his brother. Less than a man. Ironically, those were the qualities she found his most endearing. He was also generous and giving despite being hurt over and over. He could so easily have pressed charges against her sister. God only knew what that watch cost. But he hadn’t and she’d be forever grateful to him.
Kade deserved a woman who could embrace those things that made him unique, which she did, and be there for him one hundred percent, which she obviously could not. No matter how much she loved him, and she did.
She loved him in a way her younger self couldn’t have imagined, and she wanted to give him everything. But she was pulled in two different directions, the twin she loved, who had no one else by her side, ever present. Always demanding.
As if on cue, a knock sounded on her bedroom door. After Kade had left, she and her sister had both retreated to their own rooms. They’d eaten dinner separately, each alone with their thoughts. Lexie hadn’t been ready to deal with her sister, and she suspected Kendall had been too upset and humiliated by everything Julian had done to face Lexie.
Apparently Kendall was ready now.
“Come in,” Lexie called out, bracing to deal with her sister. She pushed herself upright in bed as Kendall walked in, looking no better than Lexie felt.
She still wore the same sleep clothes she’d been in when she’d met Kade yesterday, her hair was a tangled mess, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. Lexie had a feeling she was looking in the mirror.
“Can I sit down?” Kendall asked softly.
Lexie nodded. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Not really.” Kendall eased herself onto the bed and folded her legs beneath her.
“I’m sorry about Julian. You never should have been targeted by that bastard.”
Kendall shrugged. “I shouldn’t have done the things I did either. I knew I wasn’t feeling right. I knew the meds Dr. Kay switched me to weren’t working, but I was riding the high. I’m the one who got myself in debt. I’m the one who stole Kade’s watch. It wasn’t Julian who did those things. It was me.” Her voice caught as she choked on a sob.
Lexie wanted to pull her twin into her arms, but she understood this was a breakthrough and Kendall needed to have it. So she waited for her sister to pull herself together and to go on.
Kendall shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m so sorry,” she said, rocking back and forth. “I’m humiliated, and I don’t like the person I’ve become. I’m so lucky your boyfriend is such a decent guy or I’d be in jail right now.”
Lexie expelled a long breath, grateful her twin was coming to these realizations on her own. She met Kendall’s gaze. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said, correcting that misconception.
“But I thought you two were involved.”
“We were. Until he accused me of stealing and betraying him with Julian.”
Get the fuck out.
She shivered at the memory of his cold, accusatory tone and how he’d thrown her out of his office as if she meant nothing to him.
“Oh my God. That’s my fault too.” Kendall looked up at Lexie with big, watery eyes. “I’m sure you can fix things. He knows it wasn’t you, and he isn’t pressing charges against me. That’s got to be because of you. Because he loves you.”
Lexie shook her head hard. Love? She was pretty sure he considered himself well rid of her. She brought complications no man in his right mind needed in his life. Because of his relationship with her, he’d ended up vulnerable to Julian’s manipulations.
“Don’t worry about me,” Lexie murmured. “Let’s talk about you.”
Her sister let out a harsh laugh. “What about me? I think I’ve hit the proverbial rock bottom.” She looked away. “I called Dr. Kay and told him I wanted to check myself into an inpatient facility and get help.”
“Kendall!”
“Long term, this time. Not a two-week-and-I’m-out sort of deal. I have to learn to function on my own. To find the right cocktail of meds, to have the correct therapy. I can’t go on like this anymore. The ups and downs are killing me, and worse, they’re hurting you, and I’m so, so tired of hurting too.” Her sister’s rocking continued as she broke down in gulping, loud sobs.
Lexie couldn’t believe her sister was finally reaching out for real long-term help. Admiration welled up inside her.
She crawled over the bed and grabbed her twin, hugging her tight. “It’ll be okay,” she murmured. “I’m so proud of you. So proud. And I’ll be by your side the whole time. You can do this. I know you can.” She stroked her sister’s hair and whispered comforting words in her ear, doing all the things a mother would do. If only they had a capable mother.
Kendall held on to her as she cried like a little girl while Lexie choked back her own tears. Tears for her twin, for the hard life Kendall had, and for Lexie’s own choices and losses.