Her words cut deep. Even if she had her reasons, she didn’t want to deal with him. She wanted to forget, and that was something women in his life were good at.
But a glance at her flushed cheeks told him that he had affected her. For the first time today, he raked his gaze over her from top to bottom. Instead of a sexy skirt, she wore a pair of trousers that hid her shape, a boxy shirt that would have looked better on him, and very little makeup. She was hiding. Which told him she’d been every bit as unnerved by that kiss as he was.
He stepped closer, and she inched back, the dance continuing until she came up against the wall and he sandwiched her there, close enough to be in her personal space and breach her comfort zone. Her heavy breasts rose and fell beneath that god-awful shirt, her nipples poking through the material.
Need sliced through him at the sight. And then she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and he ached to do the same, to have the freedom to taste her again, to cup those breasts and feel their weight in his hands.
But he couldn’t. And she needed to understand she wasn’t the one calling the shots or defining whatever this was between them.
“Lexie, I don’t have any desire for a relationship either.” She hadn’t used the word, but he might as well make himself perfectly clear. “I don’t know what’s going on in your life, but mine is equally complicated, if not more so. So I’m sorry if a kiss while under the influence of drugs gave you the wrong impression,” he said dismissively.
Which was ironic because, as he stepped back, it was with great difficulty, and under duress thanks to his cock, which protested him pushing her away.
She glared at him. “Under the influence. You’re going to blame one lousy painkiller instead of owning your actions?” she asked, her eyes flashing with hurt and anger.
“I am,” he said, even if, deep down, he knew, as she did, that the kiss had been inevitable.
That at some point, given their chemistry, he’d have taken her into his arms … and done more than kiss her if his injured hand hadn’t prevented it. But if the painkiller gave him an excuse, so be it.
Now, when she was off-balance, he had to go in for the kill. “As for the information I admitted to, also while under the influence…” He didn’t use the words date rape. He couldn’t.
She narrowed her gaze. “What about it?”
“I’d like you to sign this.” He strode over to his desk and pulled up the paper he’d printed as soon as he’d arrived this morning, having come up with the solution on the way to work.
“What is it?” she asked warily.
“A nondisclosure agreement.” He handed her the one-page document. “It guarantees you won’t speak of or repeat what you learn in the context of our … business relationship. That includes whatever you learn here or while in my apartment.”
She sucked in a startled breath, a slight gasp coming out too. “You don’t trust me not to repeat what you told me last night. After I brought you home, fed you, took care of you, and made sure you weren’t alone and in pain, you’re going to repay me by asking me to sign an NDA,” she said, her voice cracking as she spoke.
His hand began to throb, and he realized he’d been letting it hang down, the blood flowing into his injured knuckles and fingers. Damned if he didn’t deserve it.
“It’s standard procedure in business,” he said.
“Then you should have included it in the packet Derek gave me when I signed on after he hired me.” She stormed over to the desk, pulled out a pen, and scrawled her name on the page. “Here.” She turned and slapped the paper against his chest.
Damned if he didn’t admire her spunk and the way she stood up to him, acting as if they were still in his apartment last night and not here at work. True, he was her boss, but he’d mixed business and pleasure, and she’d more than earned the right to speak her mind. Just this once, he told himself, he’d let her get away with talking to him this way.
“Thank you.” He placed the paper on his desk.
She started for the door, then turned back to face him. “You know, if you’d come to me and asked me nicely to sign, I wouldn’t have had a problem. If you’d accepted the fact that we both wanted that kiss but it couldn’t happen again, I wouldn’t be angry. Instead you came up with a bunch of excuses, insulted me personally, and questioned my integrity. Very nice, Mr. Barnes.”
His stomach churned with every word she spoke, and he hated himself for how he’d handled things. Just because he couldn’t deal with getting close to a woman didn’t mean she had to pay the price.
At his unexpected line of thinking, he furrowed his brow. Since when did he think twice about doing what needed to be done in business or in his personal life? Why was he so bothered by the hurt in her eyes, the pained expression on her face? She was just an employee, he reminded himself, and he’d fired and yelled at plenty before her. He just didn’t like doing it to Lexie. Which was all the more reason for him to cut things off now, before he allowed his guard down further, began to believe in her, trust her … and ended up gutted again.
“You know what else?” she asked.
He knew exactly what was coming next. He’d been in this position before. “You’re quitting,” he said before she could.
His stomach twisted, and the coffee he’d been drinking threatened to come back up. Fuck. Too late, he realized her departure wasn’t what he wanted. Hell, when it came to Lexie, he didn’t know what he wanted.
She let out a harsh laugh. “No, I’m not quitting. You don’t get to be that lucky. I said I could handle you and I will. My error was thinking there was a caring human being behind the jerk façade. I won’t make that mistake again. Unless…”
She trailed off, her eyes widening. “Are you firing me?” she asked, suddenly sounding worried, and he remembered Derek mentioning she needed the job.
He just hadn’t asked him why. God, Kade thought, he really was a jerk.