“You’re burning. Do you have sunscreen on?” he asked in that protective voice that softened my insides.
“Yes.” I snapped my eyes closed once more.
He groaned. “We lost our parents in a car accident on the way home from my college graduation.”
I sucked in a shallow breath. He was talking, and I hadn’t expected him to dive right in. Nor did I have to imagine the guilt he must have felt. I only had to look into his tortured expression to know. I placed my hand over his, understanding he wouldn’t want pity or sympathy but determined to provide it anyway.
“I immediately stepped up to be there for Lucy. She was sixteen and needed a firm hand. Deck was nineteen, and he helped, but he was in school. He never wanted anything to do with hotels or business. Law enforcement was all he ever desired, and I didn’t want him to lose that. So I became the head of the family and made sure everyone got what they needed.”
I watched him as he spoke, so self-contained and sure of what he’d had to do. But he’d been so young, I thought. Like I’d been when I left home, but I’d had to take care of just myself. He’d held a world of responsibility on his shoulders.
“Who gave you what you needed?” I asked.
He blinked at that. And shrugged. “At first, I didn’t think about it, and then I met Krissie. I was working ungodly hours, and all I saw was someone to share my life with. I thought it would help ease the pain and loneliness.”
“What happened?” I asked into the yawning silence. I could tell this was where he didn’t want to continue.
“I should have looked more closely because she needed … so much. More time, more affection, more of everything than I had to give. Especially back then.”
I expelled a long breath. “That’s why Decklan called me another stray.”
Gabe inclined his head. “Deck only saw it from the outside. He didn’t see my faults.”
I narrowed my gaze. “What faults? You were keeping an eye on your college-age sister, sustaining your father’s business while learning it at the same time, and taking over nightclubs. I’m assuming she had a wonderful life? A roof over her head? You loved her?”
“I thought I did.”
I let that go. “So what was she missing?”
“Everything? Nothing was enough. No time I managed to get home for dinner, no short vacation… She eventually turned to another man.” He shook his head. “By the time I found out, we’d grown so far apart I couldn’t even blame her. I filed for divorce, but it turned out her knight in shining armor only wanted her as long as she was someone else’s responsibility, and he dumped her soon after.”
I winced, although I wasn’t sure I had much sympathy for a woman who’d put that kind of pressure on Gabe. Especially back then.
“She killed herself. Overdosed on pills.” His head hung low, and I drew myself up, wrapping a comforting arm around him.
“It was only then I realized she was mentally ill. I was too busy to see it.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it again, needing to think how to approach this, to get him to understand and forgive himself. “You were too young, too busy, too … many things, I’m sure. But none of them means it was your fault. She needed help and never got it. It didn’t begin when she married you, of that I’m certain.”
He nodded. “I get that. Her mother admitted as much after the funeral. She thought marrying me would make her happy and take care of her issues.”
I sighed. “It doesn’t work that way. You’re smart and you know this. Besides, look at the family you did raise. Look at Lucy and Decklan; they both got what they needed … thanks to you.”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure I’ll ever see it that way. After that, I closed myself off. Quick relationships, no feeling, no expectation. No one gets hurt. Then I saw you.”
I blinked. Not once had I expected this to turn around back to me.
“You and that ass**le at the country club. You had a white wine spritzer in your hand and a light blue dress that hugged your curves. I wanted you then. It was like some unseen force telling me you were it. Not to let you go. And every time I saw you with him … I couldn’t breathe.”
I couldn’t breathe now.
As much as I knew there was instant attraction, to hear him acknowledge he had those same crazy feelings for me that I’d always had for him did something to me. It broke down my defenses, washed away any lingering anger at being manipulated, and put to rest my fear. This man who held himself responsible for everyone’s well-being, everyone who mattered to him anyway, wouldn’t control me or stifle me in any way. Well, in the bedroom, maybe—definitely—but I could handle that.
“Say something.”
An unsure of himself Gabriel Dare was not a sight I appreciated. I ran a hand down his face, cupping his jaw. “You were it for me too. You are.” I suspected he always would be.
He leaned down and kissed me, a brush over one side of my lips before moving to the other, then focusing on the center, sealing his mouth over mine. He kissed me over and over, his tongue sweeping inside and taking possession.