The Caregiver - By Shelley Shepard Gray Page 0,46

in her personality felt huge. Too big. Making her feel disappointed in herself. Mattie was still struggling, both physically and emotionally. Despite Lucy’s very best efforts, her cousin didn’t seem to have improved much at all.

Making Lucy feel like the worst sort of failure. She needed to escape the work and her inner demons and do her best to feel rejuvenated.

Perhaps a walk was exactly what she needed. “Is there a good walking path nearby?”

“As a matter of fact, there is. Beyond the barn, you’ll see a thicket of honeysuckle. Right behind that, you will find a worn trail. Go ahead and take that. It winds through the woods and even goes near a creek. It’s wonderful-gut.”

Lucy was slightly suspicious of her aunt’s eager advice, but she knew it would be useless to refuse. The day was beautiful, too beautiful to think about hitching up a buggy and driving in unfamiliar places.

No, she’d rather be out in the fresh air getting some exercise.

“All right. I’ll go for a walk. But I won’t be too long.”

“You take all the time you want, dear Lucy.” After a pause, she murmured, “I promise you, not much will have changed before you get back.”

There was a hint of desperation in her aunt’s voice. “Aunt Jenna? Is there more going on with Mattie’s health than I realized? Did you get news from the doctor?”

“No. It is just the same as it ever was.” Visibly trying to be upbeat, Jenna pointed to the door. “Now, we’ve spoken of this enough. Go now, and enjoy your afternoon. Oh! I just thought of something. Take this pail. Over near the creek, you’ll see a patch of blackberries. For some reason, they’re ripe early this year. Why don’t you pick some for us? Mattie always enjoys blackberry cobbler.”

Basket in hand, Lucy soon left the shadowed darkness of the house and walked into the open sunshine, with the goal of gathering blackberries—and clearing her head.

She wasn’t sure if she could do the latter easily, but she hugged the given task to her heart. She’d picked enough blackberries over the years to know that it would not be difficult.

The path underfoot was rocky and a bit jagged. The grass had the look of giving up its effort to grow under the many feet that tromped over it.

It was no trouble to find the glorious yellow and white honeysuckle flowers. All she had to do was follow their sweet scent.

And, as Jenna had told her, a well-worn path lay just beyond the flowering vines. Feeling a bit like an adventurer, Lucy swung her metal pail as she followed the trail.

First, the path meandered in between two freshly planted fields. The dirt there was dark and full of nutrients—and manure. Its smell overpowered the light floral scent with a vengeance. Wrinkling her nose, Lucy continued on, half looking for men plowing the fields behind teams of horses. But no one was around.

She was alone in the silence.

Little by little, Lucy felt the muscles in her shoulders relax.

Yes, it was probably a very good thing that she was taking some time to herself. Paul had been coming to her dreams almost every night, berating her, hurting her. She’d awoken just this morning with him twisting her arm, pulling her toward him. It had taken a good five minutes for her breathing to slow and reality to return.

To remind herself that he was gone. That he would never hurt her again.

Every day with him had been full of ups and downs. Uncertainty had ruled her life. She hadn’t known who to turn to for help, especially since no one in her community had wanted to acknowledge that she was suffering at Paul’s hand.

Lucy stopped for a moment, prepared to push the painful reminders away, but then decided to let them fill her head. She was alone now, and no one was around to witness her disappointment or her complete sense of helplessness.

And, well, perhaps it was better to think of these things every so often? Maybe then they wouldn’t ravage her dreams and turn peaceful slumber into nightmares.

She recalled one time when she and Paul were at church. After the service, he overheard some of her friends teasing her about their childless state. Far from being cruel, they’d been teasing her about her extra free time, since she wasn’t nursing babies and changing diapers all day long.

Though she’d wished her life had been different, Lucy had smiled. She’d yearned for a babe, too, but knew